chris' journal

New Orleans, trip 5

2006-07-03T21:25:00.000-05:00

Coming around the curve said it all. We started in St. Bernard’s, worked our way through the lower ninth, stopped to try imagining what the wall of water must have been like… we kept going across the canal, down Elysian Fields, into Lakeview, over to see the 17th street canal, then to Sal’s for a taste of heaven. The elevated traffic circle fascinates me – we drove around it four times. It was only when we started back on 10 toward the city that I felt it. The first time I felt it was when I was 8. The last time, I was 10. Glimpsing the buildings, knowing what’s ahead, going around the curve. It’s coming.

You see the top. It emerges. It gets bigger. It gets closer. The second it comes into view, you let out a sigh that says, “I love this place.”

This is my New Orleans. The places invite you in. The people smile. The love that connects and enjoins the people of this place can be felt as soon as you turn the corner. But that’s not all.

God is here. Say it all you want, condemn the drunks, the gays, the homeless, the drug addicts… say all you want. Get it out. Go ahead. Think I’m a horrible person and blasphemous for loving them. God is in this place, God is with the drunks, the gays, the homeless, and with the addict every time they shoot up. He is here… always has been, forever will be. This is His promise to us. God loves every soul here just as much as He loves you and me. For us not to recognize this is the foremost mistake we encounter with such an amazing city. We cannot come to get past the television images of angry people for being pooled up in a rank, foul smelling place with thousands upon thousands of others packed into such a small place. Would we not be the same way? How dare a person who has not been showed love but rather condemnation by an entire nation for days on end be the least bit angry. Are we not called to love all, despite who they may be or what they may say?

This is the time for love, for action, for coming to this place and doing what Jesus calls us to do. Our Father and his Son, in the words of one much wiser than myself, “bid us to come and die,” to our old lives and begin to live a life of love to all. To reach out our hands and be the hands and feet of Christ in a place that is longing for such a presence. This is our time, as followers of our Lord God in Heaven, to begin bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth. This is the time. This is the place. He calls us here to do just that. Now is the time. There is no wait and see. The need is great. The call is now.

May we not run from the love of our Father and his burning desire to instill in us His great love so that we may share such a love with those who are around us and in the places of the greatest need. This is one of those places – a place that the love of Christ himself can change this place forever. The Father’s love will multiply as it is shared and continue to multiply and spread for all to see – it is a glow that will grow to shine upon all the world. Whatever you do, though, spread this love by using words as little as you can. May our words be few and our love be great. May we follow the calling of our Lord, as we allow Him to become Lord of every sphere of our lives. May we come to embrace his awe-filled love and be overcome by the truth that He brings. To do so will leave you breathless, speechless, and amazed. Our God is great… he is on the move. He is seeking us. He is calling us. Are you ready?

Let’s go.

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
When it is in the power of your hand to do so.
Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go and come back,
And tomorrow I will give it,’
When you have it with you.”
Proverbs 3:27-28

Smile!!!!!!

2006-05-23T12:47:00.000-05:00

So I thought I'd add a picture of myself to my blog. It's been up for over a year... who knows, somebody out there may be reading it that's never seen me before.

Prior to this picture, I had braces for about five years. Yeah, that's a long time... my teeth are stubborn and didn't want to move. But they finally did, and here they are! :)

Leaving

2006-05-14T22:30:00.000-05:00

Saturday was one of the toughest days I've had in a very long time. Saying goodbye is not something that comes easy when you don't know how long you'll be apart from somewhere. It was like a piece of my heart was being left behind as I drove further and further away - memories flooding my mind as tears fell from my eyes.

This past week was my fourth in New Orleans since Katrina. The experiences I've had there have been amazing; the relationships formed will last a lifetime and beyond. But that's not all. South Carolina is my home, yes, but if I have a second home, it is Louisiana. Three years of my live have been spent there. My brother was born there. It is a home to me. We moved back to SC in 1995. As we drove along I-12 and then I-10 in November, I did everything I could to hold back the tears. This time, nothing could stop them.

It was that same road we drove down to come back home for Thanksgiving in '93 when I missed all of my family in SC so much. It was the same road we drove down in the wee hours of the morning the day my great-grandfather died. It was the same road as I rode with my mom in our bright red Chrysler minivan that, just 2 miles before Mississippi, a piece of gravel flew up and cracked the windshield. Three years of living in the state with everyone else getting cracks, ours came just two minutes before we left for good.

My first memories of Brooks are in Louisiana... after all, he was born there. I remember when Dad brought him through the front door of our house and he was home. I remember holding him in the blue and white striped chair in our den so happy that I was finally a big brother. I remember the pool in the backyard, playing with Carly (who is still going strong at 14 years old now), meeting some incredible friends who welcomed a stranger.

I remember driving down I-10 every few weeks to New Orleans to see the sights and sounds of such an amazing city. I remember the fun and mystery the city had to offer. The Audubon Zoo. The aquarium. The river. The Cathedral. Margaritaville. The lake. The music. The jazz. Everything. There was so much. It was a place I came to love.

Nine months ago I did everything I could to hold back the tears. Driving up and down street after street after street... homes with water lines up to their shingles endlessly scrolling past the window. I got home and cried my eyes out for days. I knew then I'd go back as many times as I could. I knew then that my heart was being split between my home and my second home. It still is today.

To truly see what is there, you have to look past the few dozen bars on Bourbon Street. You have to look past the crime rate caused by less than 1% of the people there. You have to look past any stereotypes you've come to spread. You have to go. You have to see. You have to feel the love that these people have. So many have said that Katrina was sent by God to desecrate a city of sin. The thought that people believe this makes me cry. Look in your on backyard. Look at yourself. If you're without sin, then go ahead and cast the first stone. If not, why didn't God send Katrina to flood your house?

I've known New Orleans before and after this storm. I've loved New Orleans before and after this storm. I've been loved by those of New Orleans before and after this storm. Love is there. Only if you look. If you do look, you will find it. You will be loved. You will be blessed.

Our God is a god of Love. I've experienced this Love in New Orleans. I've experienced this God in New Orleans. God is there. Go. Look. Find.

To everyone in New Orleans, St. Bernard's Parish, Jefferson Parish, and everywhere else in Louisiana: I love you. We love you. Our prayers are with you. May the God of peace and love watch over you and bless you until we meet again.

Goodbye is not forever. We'll be back. There is a Light at the end of this tunnel... for you.

overflowing with a love greater than my own,
chris

Rain... thunder... lightning...

2006-04-21T00:04:00.000-05:00

Rain falls... thunder rolls... lightning makes the night become day. God. No other is capable of such greatness. Some might call it rain. It is God. Some might call it thunder. It is God. Some might call it lightning. It is God. Beyond these things, it is good, because it is God.

Sorrow fills my soul this night. These are the times when you come to know who true friends are and come to doubt others. Do these others have an agenda? Do they love so that I might do something? Or do they love because they are called by Christ to love with no condition? Do they really love at all?

Children, women, men... all over the world... dying from hunger. In pain. Loving. Being strong. Even with death near. Do we care? Do we know? Do we love?

Answering the call of Christ is not to love when it is convenient to us. It is to love when it pains us most. When we'd like to not love. When we'd rather turn our eyes to a more joyous time... to pretend for a moment that pain is not there knocking on our door. Through this, we must love. To follow Christ is to love in the dark corners... in the homes of sorrow and pain... in the places and to the people we'd rather not encounter. It is not easy. Yet it is our call. To love Christ is to do these things. To ignore these things is to ignore our Father's desire for us.

We must never surrender to any way of this world, even for a moment. To have a moment where we strive for anything less than perfection is to spend a moment outside of true desire to follow Christ. For Christ calls us to come and die from our old life and be born into a life of discipleship. Do we know this? Do we seek this? Do we strive to be this each and every day?

To truly follow Christ, we must love with our all every moment of our lives. This is our call. It is not new - it is everlasting and alive today, just as Christ. He lives within us to remind us of His love - that we may share this love with all whom we encounter every second of every day.

The love of Christ fills my heart with joy this night. Joy that overpowers the burden of sorrow. When we cry out to Jesus, He will guide us, He will comfort us, He will love us like no other. He alone turns darkness into light... a light that can never be bright enough. It only grows, as we let it dwell within us and become brighter with each day we continue to follow Him. May we learn by this example, so that we might be the hands and feet of Jesus upon this earth - to share His love with those who need it most - and by spreading the Kingdom upon this earth, prepare the way of the Lord.

Praise be to our God, for He is worthy. Hallelujah. God is good.

all praise be to you Jesus,
chris

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Time to Unload

2006-04-11T23:40:00.000-05:00

Whew. It's been a while. I'm becoming very frustrated with some stuff, so I'm going to use this journal entry to unload a lot of different stuff that's weighing me down right now. Some of it is things about others frustrating me... some of it is stuff about me that frustrates me... some of it is good stuff that fills my heart with joy beyond belief. With that said, here goes...

Selfishness irks me greatly. In others. In myself. Why do we allow ourselves to become so self-centered that we become ignorant to living our lives for others? Why do we put ourselves before others? Why do we veer so far away from living a life of serving others with every breath that we take? People wanting things just because they 'want it their way' annoys me a lot. When I see it in myself it annoys me even more. I pray that all of us might do less and less for ourselves and more and more for others.

Worship is not a song. Going to church or experiencing worship is not 'going for the music' or picking a church with the best music. Music is something we enjoy... we call it "praise and worship" all the time, but something deep inside me leads me to believe that we're letting it replace real praise and worship. The disciples didn't hang out in nice buildings with cool sound systems trying to find the best music to minister to people. They "praised and worshiped" the way Jesus calls us to live... by loving God and loving others, and taking that message to the multitudes. It wasn't through a song, but in living it out in their lives and going beyond words... bringing their words to become a reality. That is our challenge. Our worship cannot be comprised of a song we enjoy singing. True worship is giving God everything that we have of worth - namely, our lives. That's the nature of the word... worth ship. In Jesus' time, if you were a fisherman, your ship was everything. No ship = no food, no money, no sustenance, no life. If you brought your ship to Him and gave it up to Him, that was offering everything. This is what Jesus calls of us in true worship. Repeating words that somebody else wrote to a tune that we really enjoy and that excites us is not what God ever asked for. Living our lives in the way that He asks us to is exactly what He asks for. Let's not let songs and theatrics take us away from what true worship and discipleship is.

To truly seek, you've gotta truly seek. Too many of us are letting things slide and yet trying to lead others and thinking that we know more than we do. Read. Study. Pray. Meditate. Let His thoughts fill your mind and your own thoughts ebb away. To serve our God best, we must learn as much as we can from the story He has left for us through time. We are being very poor stewards of our own time and of others time to try leading others while neglecting to lead ourselves to a life of holiness. We must seek the Word before we attempt to describe and paint it for another.

It never ends. Too many of us are content with where we are. We find a spot that we feel comfortable and stay there for as long as we can until someone else shoves us out, and then we find another spot of comfort. Never stop searching. Never stop seeking. Never stop working to bring the Kingdom to where we are on earth. Becoming a Christian is not a one-time event where you say a prayer and it's over. Truly following Jesus involves just that... following Him. When you follow someone who is literally everywhere, that journey never ends. It will take you to the ends of the earth and beyond. Never become comfortable... that is the first sign that you are slipping. Let God be your guide, and never be afraid to jump on the journey He takes you on. Keep going. "Oh, if this should be the last day that I have before I breathe the air of heaven let me live it with abandon to the only thing that remains after my last day here on earth." Keep going. Never stop. God never stops. Why should we?

Apathy is a killer. Maybe apathy isn't the best word. I don't know. This attitude makes me want to lie down and cry in pain: 'We can never be perfect, so it's okay if we don't do stuff right! Plus, if God's really in control, it'll all work out and it doesn't matter what we do.' If that is true, then why would God send his Son to bring us a message of how to live and because of such dying upon a cross for the sake of bringing us this message and living it out in perfection? If we're so dead set on us not being perfect, why would Jesus say to us, "Go and be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect," or why would He say, "Love others as I have loved you," if He didn't think we were capable of these things? "Time's up! God's kingdom is here. Repent and believe the message." Believing is doing. Is the message coming alive in your life?

Don't let anything ever come between you and your desire to praise God with your life. Let all good things come only from the love you have for your Father and the infinite love He has for you. Do all things in the light of His glory. He is here. All is well. Believe. Do. Bring the words to life through your own life. Embody what is true and holy, and never seek anything less.

All glory be to God, for He is good. Hallelujah. He is good.

seeking to love with all of me,
chris

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New Orleans, trip 3

2006-03-27T01:31:00.000-05:00

From wherever spring arrives to heal the ground…
From wherever searching comes (the look itself
A trace of what we’re looking for).
So be quiet now and wait. The ocean is growing.
The tide is coming in.
Here it is… Here is our King. Here is our love.
Here is our God who’s come to bring us back to Him.
He is the One. He is Jesus.

And what was said to the rose to make it unfold
was said to me here in my chest, so be quiet now
and rest. The ocean is growing. The tide is coming.
Here it is… He is our King. He is our love.
He is our God who’s come to bring us back to Him.
He is the One. He is Jesus.
Majesty. Finally. Here…

- “Here is our King” - David Crowder*Band -

Two days from now will be seven months. Seven months since the ocean grew… since the tide came in. Spring is arriving to heal the ground. Green grass is emerging. Colorful foliage spreads out across the land. Hope is there.

In the week that we worked in homes, came to know the stories of the people, and absorbed the entire experience, there wasn’t a doubt to be found that He was there. God was in this place. The truth is, he was there before the storm. He was there in the storm – in every droplet of water. He is there now.

You cannot take enough pictures or video to describe what is there. Homes atop cars – cars atop homes. Families searching for where remnants of their home might be, after days still struggling to find a piece big enough to identify it as their home. Homes collapsed. And yet beneath the rubble of brick walls and a roof torn in two, a fragile light bulb remains untouched. A photo still remains intact and clear. A dog survives for forty-two days on its own.

Amazing. It is the only word that fits. Indescribable.

We found God in a light bulb. In a photograph. In a dog we never met. God is in this place.

Hope in voices of the people. Workers doing more than they could ever do on their own. Scenes that look impossible. There is no logical explanation. There is only God.

We went to be in mission – to take God to these people. We left discovering that God was there all along, and that we’re only left to bring a little piece of Him back with us.

We were inspired. We were welcomed. We were loved. Good things are to be found there. In the midst of the destruction of such worldly things, hope remains, love remains, God remains.

No words can ever describe how this trip left us speechless… in awe of a God beyond description. We are only left with a smile. Knowing that He is our God. Our creator. Our love. The One. He is Jesus. And He came to bring us back to Him.

One Year Later

2006-03-14T22:26:00.000-05:00

Wow. It's been a year since I started blogging. I just finished going back and reading every blog entry from the past year... it's amazing how far I've come since then. A year ago doesn't seem to be all that long ago, but in reading tonight, it seems like ancient history. There are some similarities, though. A year ago I was getting ready for an awesome spring break trip - and very excited about getting out of town for a week and maybe helping some others in the process. I'm sitting in the same seat again, at the same desk, with the same excitement.

With this excitement, and knowing how much the last spring break trip changed me and really shaped the last year of my life, I thought I'd reflect on some of the bigger things I've learned in the past year...

1. Firstly and most importantly, seek God with all of your mind, soul, heart, and strength, and love Him likewise. I could never convey anything more important than this.

2. Never become comfortable (this and others probably go along with numero uno). It is the moment that we become comfortable that we will find ourselves drifting from God. Why should we ever become comfortable in a world that we were not made to live in? In the words of another author, we are aliens in a foreign place. We should most certainly enjoy the gifts God has blessed us with (eg - His other creations), but being comfortable isn't really what we're called to be.

3. Be careful of finding one person (author, musician, preacher, leader, etc) that you learn most from. In other words - don't do it. Let the Word of God be your only source of guidance. Read other people and listen to others and definitely check out some of the awesome music out there - but don't let it replace the Word. Without the Word, where would we be?

4. I hear a lot of talk about unconditional love. About being a real friend to others. About doing anything for anyone else. About loving others as ourselves. If you're going to claim the name (or words in this case), do it in actions, and let the words follow (if they're needed at all). Too often we use words to say who we are... words can never describe some things - only our actions will define who we are... where our treasure is, our heart will be also. What is most important to us? What is our treasure? Seek to make the words you speak a reality.

5. Do everything in love. When you see wrong being done, speak up. When you see someone else falling, reach out a hand and try to pull them back up. Never do these things because you see yourself as elite - for the truth is that none of us are elite... we are all equally children of God. None better, none worse. God loves each of us equally. It is because of this love that we are called to love everyone whom we encounter, and help them as much as humanly possible (or maybe more?) to love our God with their all and everything.

6. Dream. Wonder. Think with the simplicity of a child. Anything is possible. We too often see our effort to give God everything as unreachable or with too many obstacles. The path he calls us to travel is not one we can do on our own... this is why He tells us that all things are possible. When the journey and life that He calls you to lead seems to be tough, read His words from Matthew 7... with God, nothing is impossible.

7. God's timing is perfect. He calls us to be patient... we should learn this trait as soon as we can. We can pray about something all day long and until we're red in the face, but ultimately, we must learn to be patient for God to act. Do not be anxious... so many times this past year I've been in a very bad situation, but by a miracle God alone is capable of, everything worked out.

Well, those are a few things. This past year has taken me to places I'd never thought I'd end up, and led me to some of the most incredible friendships I could have ever imagined. From Clemson to Florida to the Bahamas to New Orleans... God is awesome. Really. He leaves me in awe. So many times. Words could never do it justice.

I pray that this next 365 days might be as incredible as the last... with God as my guide, who knows where I'll end up. May I glorify Him in all that I do, and love without strings everyone whom I might encounter.

soooooooooooooo thankful, and with a smile bigger than the sun,
chris

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It's not about me.

2006-03-12T02:28:00.000-05:00

Tonight I am with few words. Emotions are plenty. Sadness consumes me.

How have I made it about me? It is not about me.

My happiness is of no concern. Joy should never be what I seek. Nothing that I do should be for me - nothing.

I should be selfless. Caring nothing about myself. Never seeking to please myself. Seeking not to better myself.

I should only pour myself out for my God, and through Him, for everyone around me. Not pieces here and there - all of me, everything, being poured out for those around me.

No me. All to God.

Not later. Not one day. Today. Now. "Time's up! God's kingdom is here! Change your life and believe the message!"

To believe is to do. To do is to deny myself. All of myself. Completely. Wholly.

I must change my life. My life is not for me. It is for Him. It is His.

Father, grant me the strength to give myself away - every inch of me. Nothing left over. Not in words - words mean nothing. In truth - truth is all-powerful.

May others also seek such strength, and make their faith more than words. That is my prayer, O God. I desire to sacrifice all. Please help me make this come true.

I love you, O Father, creator of heaven and Earth. The whole world - all of creation - is full of Your glory. Halelujah! Halelujah in the highest!

seeking to truly, beyond words, surrender all,
chris

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Mark 1:15

A Prayer

2006-03-10T00:49:00.000-05:00

Tonight I pray that I might be a light of joy to those who are around me - that I might inspire them and help guide them toward our Father.

I pray that I might seek out my Father more earnestly and that I might come to know Him more.

I pray that I might be a good friend to others and to do nothing less than love them more than I even love myself - that I might strive to love them as Jesus loves them.

I pray that people close to me would stop trying to find happiness and security in being with one other person - that they might seek their only happiness and security from our Father, and abandon these other relationships until they might find His calling and come to truly know Him more.

I pray that people close to me and I myself might come to abandon a need for physical closeness and seek only purity of heart, mind, soul, and body - and seek our only intimacy with God.

I pray that I might be a friend who others trust - who others might talk to and feel welcome to talk to in trust and confidence, truly knowing that the only reason I live is to love God and, thus, love them.

I pray that those whom I love so much might abandon all ways of this world and seek whole-heartedly after our Father and become closer to Him in all that we do.

I pray that this prayer might become more than words - that it might become reality. How joyful we might all be...

seeking Him whom I love beyond compare,
chris

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Giving Up

2006-02-27T22:24:00.000-05:00

It's almost here... only a matter of hours away. Mardi Gras is one of my favorite holidays of the year. After living in Louisiana for three of them, I came to really enjoy the two extra days off of school, the parades, the food, enough beads to sink a few ships, and generally a lot of fun. What I also noticed a lot was what happened when the clock struck midnight. Come Wednesday, everything was different. No matter how much partying took place over the days and days of festivities, it all stopped at midnight and everyone entered into this period of time called Lent.

For a few of my friends, that Wednesday they went without meat, and then every Friday leading up to Easter. Some restaurants would not serve meat on Fridays, but instead serve an all vegetarian menu for those days. I gained a new-found appreciation for this season.

What are we to do for lent? Some sects of Christianity give up meat, poultry, milk, and all dairy products for every day starting with Ash Wednesday and ending on Holy Saturday. Some give up meat on Ash Wednesday and the Fridays of Lent. A growing number of Protestants are now doing similar practices, or giving up something they normally don't do without.

What is this giving up? It is giving up something from your normal routine completely selflessly so that it may be a daily reminder of what Christ has done for us. For others, time spent doing whatever they are giving up is spent in prayer or meditation. But whatever they give up, it is not to benefit themselves at all - it is to honor Christ and God.

I've heard of some people giving up "unhealthy foods" as a way of losing weight, or giving up oils, or only eating "healthy foods". While eating healthy is a good thing, I'm not sure this is the point of lent or giving something up. What we give up should not be for any improvement to ourselves, but something that is of sacrifice to us. Also - giving up something that may hinder your ministry to others might not be a healthy thing either.

Lastly, what we do during a Lenten season should be done in secret. It is often I hear others proclaiming to the world what they're giving up for lent or that they're not eating a certain food. Do not practice this. Be quiet in your actions, and give something up that you might be able to do in secret. Giving up something for lent is not for us to boast about or feel good about - it is something that we might do to grow closer to our Father. (Jesus' teachings on fasting in Matthew 6 would be a good reference for this)

With all of that said, I challenge you to seek out something in your life that you might do without for these days between Mardi Gras and Easter - something that you might do in secret, something that may help you draw nearer to our Father. It is in this giving up that we may draw ourselves the slightest bit closer to fully surrendering to our God.

Grace and peace be with you this Mardi Gras, and throughout this Lenten season.

praying that we all might draw nearer to our Father,
chris

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God is Love

2006-02-24T02:03:00.000-05:00

In recent days, I've reaffirmed many reasons why I should be thankful. I have been blessed with so much... incredible friends, awesome family, and there is a God who has created billions and billions of stars (and those are just the ones we can see) and yet he still can still call me by name - and guides me every step of the way.

Narnia is amazing. Yes, I know there are parallels to the Christian faith, and a lot of obvious stuff. But there is more. Not just the movie... read the books. All of them. Open up your eyes... open up your mind... dream... imagine... let it become alive and sweep you off your feet. Find the truth in it.

Do not fear to love someone else. Anyone. Love unconditionally... stop. Think about that one. Unconditionally. No matter the condition. Love. Pour your heart out - even if you do not know them. There are a lot of very close friends who I would honestly do anything imaginable for... I would lie down and take anything in place of them that may bring them harm or sadness. I wish I could find it within me to do this for anyone. That is the beauty we find in Jesus... the One who gave his all for so many who He did not even know yet... this is the love we are called to have. I know some of the people I love greatly may not share the same love for me... and that is okay. I am called to love them with my all regardless... and I pray that I do.

Find God. Look around you. Look above you. Look beneath you. Find God. So many times we pray for God to be with us... He is already here. It is only up to us to find Him and see Him surrounding us. It is amazing to read Isaiah 40 and to think of God creating all of the stars in the heavens... and yet He can still call them all by name. Or to read Psalm 19 and be reminded of God's perfection. May this be what we seek, without distraction, without any other thing clouding our focus.

Seek the truth. In John 8, Jesus says, "...and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." Jesus is truth. God is truth. May we continue to seek God and to let Him reign over every sphere of our lives, so that we may come to know what is ultimately true.

May we come to allow God to overtake our thoughts and let every thought be birthed from our unwavering focus upon God, our Father. It is in this that we may come to know love, and out of this that we may truly find love in and for all whom we encounter.

seeking with all of my heart to draw nearer to this God,
chris
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Relationships ii

2006-02-20T23:04:00.000-05:00

Whew. It's over. It's almost a week now... V-day fever has settled and the biggest things to get excited about are Mardi Gras, spring coming soon, and baseball. This whole month, though, I've been giving a lot of thought to relationships. First it was friendships, and now more recently when things go beyond that. How do we handle it? Are we "going beyond that" everyday in our minds? Or does "going beyond that" in some cases have anything to do with friendship at all?

The root word for all of this thought is lust. Now, before you toss that word aside and assure yourself that you have nothing to do with that word, know that it's easier than you think to fall into it, and it's much broader than most of us would like to admit.

You don't have to have sex or even desire it to lust. You don't have to make-out, or even kiss. You can lust to be with someone just so you don't have to be alone or single. We lust when we take that second look or try to see beyond the clothes that are there (or lack thereof in some cases - it's scary what some people will wear today and call clothes).

What I've really been thinking about is how to keep this lust thing from getting to us. Jesus says in Matthew, "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you... and if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you." That's kind of radical... cutting body parts off. I'll openly admit that if I took this literally, I'd be blind right now. Something tells me I'm not alone. So how do we go about cutting out the things that may lead us to sin and, more importantly, away from God and purity? Here are some ideas I've been thinking about...

If you're sitting toward the back of the class and find yourself thinking about one of the girls (or guys) in your class, and your mind starts to wonder, start sitting at the front.

If you're not married and worried that those simple kisses might lead to making-out, stop kissing.

If sprawling out on top of each other on the couch, or sitting a little too closely, or constantly having to be in contact when you're near someone appears to you to be away from purity, stop touching each other. Like, completely. There is nothing in the bible about having to touch each other a lot to be dating or in a relationship.

In the words of my friend Steve the other night, "If driving by Bowman in the springtime causes you to take a second glance - or a third, go another way." (for non-Clemson folks: Bowman Field on a warm, spring day has more two-piece bikinis and shirtless guys than the Empire State Building has windows)

Taking a second one from Steve - if the things you're looking at on your computer are leading you away from holiness, get rid of your computer and only use the ones in the library or computer lab.

If you find that being in a relationship is leading to an increased pressure to be doing anything that is not holy, don't be in that relationship anymore. (side note: if God is calling you to be married one day and raise a family, it is okay to trust Him to help you find someone whenever that time comes... and if who you're dating now is that right person, but you're finding your time together isn't resulting in such holy behavior, it is okay to trust God to lead you back to that person when the time is right)

If something in a relationship you have with someone else or anything outside of a relationship is leading you away from God, holiness, or purity, the answer is simple: cut it off and cast it from you.

Sure, it might be tough. Sure, we might not like it. But, honestly, how should we feel about letting these worldly, evil influences compete with the great Creator of the entire galaxy, universe, and every living person and thing ever made? Should there even be a competition for God and purity to be the only focus of our lives?

seeking to truly follow the words of my Creator,
chris

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Relationships

2006-02-03T02:12:00.000-05:00

For some people, they're easier to find than others. Some have many, some have fewer. They can be real or misleading. They can lead us to great joy and times of sorrow. We couldn't live without them. What do I speak of?

Friends.

A friend of mine preached a sermon on the topic of friends not too long ago. He went as far as to say that one of Jesus' most important actions and examples on this earth was making friends. He didn't just become a friend to a few, but to many. True, some were closer friends than others, but they were all friends.

What does this friendship idea mean? Being supportive. Smiling. Providing comfort. Hugs. Acting in truth and to be truth-telling. Love. This is only the beginning... there are so many more that could be added.

This is something that Jesus sought throughout his life. His friends stretched across a wide spectrum, being from every spectrum of society. A lot of times, though, they tended to be friends who had very few friends of their own. That didn't matter to Jesus, though... he wanted to be their friend. Who do we seek to be our friends?

It's incredibly easy to fall into a mindset where we're not seeking friends. It may be that we have found a good few close friends and don't see a need for any more. It may be that we've gotten into a relationship with a significant other and start to overlook new friends and begin spending less and less time with the friends we have. It may be that we're afraid to make new friends. It may be that the people we are called most by Christ to befriend are the ones we find the hardest to approach. I'm guilty of a number of these, and know that the list is only the first few of many reasons.

Is it supposed to be easy, though? I'm no expert on scripture, but the quote, "It's so easy to follow Me," is not something I ever read in red or black (or any color). We're called to make friends. To be friends. To be a friend. Are we?

Branch out. Spend an hour or two less with a "sig oth". Fear not. It isn't easy. But it is incredibly possible.

We're called to be a friend and to find friends in others. Let's go for it... don't wait. Start today. It might just change your life... I know it does mine. Every single day.

Seeking to be a friend and to meet new friends along the way,
chris

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Reasons I am thankful tonight

2006-01-23T01:44:00.000-05:00

In driving home tonight, I came to realize how thankful I am for so many things... for where I am, for Who's I am, and for the true friends I have found and come to love here on this earth. I am thankful. For so many reasons...

I am thankful that I am one of God's children and that He loves me beyond any level of love that I could ever hope to express, comprehend, or even ever come to know. It's that much, that big, and it blows me away, each and every day. For this I am thankful.

I am thankful for the people that God has placed in my life. My family is incredible... a bit odd at times, but aren't we all? I love them so much. Mom, Dad, and Brooks have taught me so much... thank you, God, for them.

I am thankful for the true friends that God has blessed me with. They make me smile, learn, grow, laugh, hug, talk, listen, and (best of all) they let me be their friend. I'm so happy and thankful for these friends.

I am thankful I have grown to be at least a semi-mature adult. I don't act like I'm in middle school anymore and I can be serious when I need to be. I've learned that life is more than girls, cars, and money. Life is so much more than this. I've also learned to be honest, to respect others, and to be truth-telling with all whom I meet. I thank God for this.

I am thankful I am still a child at heart. I play with legos... I crawl after my little cuz on the floor... I shoot spit balls across the dining room table (kids, don't try this at home)... I smile... I laugh uncontrollably... I find utmost fascination and joy and happiness in the cheapest little wind-up toy car that can entertain me for hours on end. I'm so thankful I'm a little kid on the inside.

I am thankful that there is a God who knows my name and that I can live my entire life utterly in love with. I am thankful that nothing can come between me and the love my Creator has for me... nothing can come between my Father's love and me... there are no distractions, there are no detours. It is me and my Lord, and the love that we share is unlike any other love I will ever know... ever. This brings me to tears of joy and thanks.

I am thankful for my brother, the Son, who came to show me the way. I am not perfect (although it would be a lie to seek to be anything less). And that is okay. My brother, my friend, my shepherd, my God came to this earth to show us a perfect path, a guide for us to follow, and then said that He forgives us for the sins we bring upon ourselves. He forgives us. And he loves us. No matter how sinful we are. For this I am thankful.

I am thankful for my leader who guides us to be righteous, to be without wrong, to be only and fully with love, truth, and compassion. It is to these things that we are called. I am thankful, beyond all of me, to have the opportunity to answer the call. The same call we all have been presented with.

I thank God for my God. You are awesome, incredible, holy, joy, and so much more I do an injustice in even trying to explain or detail your beauty and glory. I am thankful. And to this I smile with joy. God is God, and i am not. Let us never forget... and always show to You thanks.

So ever thankful and joyful this night,
chris

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More Than it Seems

2006-01-22T00:35:00.000-05:00

"Is my imagination running away or is
All this really happening to me?
Am I a prince in a far away land filled with fantasy?

Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am?
I am holding onto the visions I've seen of what I could be
It's what I should be

More than it seems these dreams inside
Blur reality's line
If I could believe that dreams aside
I am capable of more than it seems

Passing through darkness into my own world will I
Be more than when I left
Never letting go of the lessons I learned this will make a change
A change within me

This time I won't run away
I've found the strength to face life's long days
This time I won't run away

'Til there's nothing left of me
Show me the way to these dreams"
(kutless)

Father, that is my prayer tonight. Let these dreams come from within me, and may I never run away, this time or ever. It is a new day. A beautiful day. One of Your days. How joyful I am. And thankful. To You. For opening up my eyes...

"And the time has come to realize and see the plan you've been designed for. So face the fear of all unknown and see the heart inside. So open up your eyes."

May they always be open. And focused... on You. Forever. And always. That, truly and deeply, is my prayer to You this night.

Glory be to God in the highest, in the heavens and on earth, always. Peace be to all men, and may truth abide in us and between us for all time.

overcome by this Love and blinded by this Light,
joyful i am,
gcm

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This View is Changing Me

2006-01-20T22:13:00.000-05:00

It's been a while. For the past few weeks, it's been hard to write what I've been thinking. But I suppose I can give it a shot.

For the last ten months, I've been on an adventure. It's been never-ending... one twist and turn after another. I've met lots of new people along the way, and even for old friends I began to see them in a new and different way. My view changed. It became different.

A time or two I've almost written, "I wish I could go back to the way it used to be." But I stopped myself. Where I used to be was comfortable, safe, and predictable. I feel like the four children once they've been in Narnia for a while. It's a depressing winter landscape, and they don't know quite why they're there. They're being led on this journey by something much bigger than themselves. And they almost wish they were back in the Professor's house, back in the English countryside. Back where they were before the adventure began.

This is all before they see Aslan, though. They end up finding the one who has been guiding them all this way - who has been leading their adventure.

This adventure that I am on has led me to many places... it has led my heart in many directions - to high moments and low. This recently has, by far, been the lowest along this journey for me. But I know I must continue. What was before is no longer there. Things are being made anew. As I open up my eyes to see, this view is changing me.

I hope it is for good. I hope it is for better. I hope, more than anything, that it leads me closer to the One who is guiding me.

hanging in there,
chris

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Merry Christmas

2005-12-24T22:16:00.000-05:00

"Then the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.'

"And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
"Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" - Luke 2:10-14

This is Christmas. It's not just a day. It's not a single hour. It's not a single place. It doesn't have to have snow, or a tree, or mistletoe, or even presents. It's a spirit - an auora.

We have this day (and season) to prepare then celebrate the birth of a Christ child. A little baby, born over two millenia ago in a little town called Bethlehem. We celebrate not only that this child was born, but for what he grew to become. In the same way we exchange gifts today, Jesus is a gift to us... the first Christmas present. He is a gift that can never be matched - one that only God himself is capable of. He came to give us the good news, that there is a God who, in the words of a tomato named Bob, "loves us very much."

Let us not forget this Christmas the twenty-two chapters of Luke that follow the story of Christ's birth. May we remember that this is the beginning of a story... a story that lives on today within you and me. A story that is filled with love, joy, peace, and so much more.

We've spent an entire month - since the day after Thanksgiving - preparing the way for the birth of a new baby brother to us all. Let us now take a day to welcome this baby... a baby who makes us smile just at the sight of him... who brings joy to everyone who is near... may we invite this little babe into our hearts anew, our brother - from our father. A father who loves us beyond all measure.

This, my friend, is Christmas. May yours be joyous and bright, and may you as well rekindle a life-long love in your brother, God's son, Jesus. Happy birthday bro... in the same way I cannot describe the love you have for me, I can't quite use words to describe the love I have for you. May your birthday be a light for all men, and may the angels still sing, "Glory to God in the highest... and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"

merry Christmas to all,
your brother in Christ,
chris

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Goodbyes

2005-12-05T10:55:00.000-05:00

I love this time of year. Snow starts creeping further south, football bowls are nearing, great food is everywhere for the eating. It's Christmastime.

Part of this Christmastime, though, comes the end of the academic semester. Graduation happens in December and, for some, their college life comes to an end as they move back towards home and away from all of their new friends. This makes for a difficult time during this season of joy. We will depart from these friends, and may not see them again for some time. We'll no longer pass them on the way to class. We'll no longer see them at church each Sunday. We'll no longer hear words of wisdom, comfort, and solice from them day in and day out. It makes me sad, and I am not alone. Many of us feel this way.

This Christmas (or celebration of capitalism as it has come to be known in America), I've been trying to seek out what Christmas really means to me -- and better yet, what it should mean to me. How are we to celebrate Jesus' birthday? Should we bake a cake? (yum...) Should we light candles? (eh, we already do that a lot) Should we buy lots of presents? (eh, already do that a lot too, just not presents for the birthday boy) What should we do?

So far, I've come to two conclusions. First, birthdays are here for celebration. Joy. Fun. Smiles. To really celebrate Jesus' birthday, we should be happy. Happy that he was born, in a manger, many years ago.

Second, the best way to celebrate the birth of the Christ is to remember Christ and practice Christ. It's what he told us to do. And I can't think of a better way to celebrate someone's birth than by following their wisdom and living it through our own lives. Especially since we're not just celebrating any birthday, but rather the birth of the Son of God.

Part of this celebration, though, brings me to reflecting on the entire life of Christ. Born a little babe in Bethlehem, he would grow up to save the world. Literally. His life tells us a story. A story that doesn't end on a cross, but continues past death. A story that continues to be written today.

We are that story now. Using the words of one of these seniors I will say goodbye to later this month, I must also remember that this goodbye is not really goodbye. Just as Christ defeated death, Christ has paved the way for us all to live in eternity with him and each other. So this is not goodbye. In the spirit of Christmas, the coming of the Son, it is "see you soon." And so we shall.

Merry Christmas,
chris

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Three Thoughts

2005-11-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

Over this past weekend, there have been three big thoughts resting on my mind. So, I’ll let them out of my mind, so they can stop resting there (they’re getting rather heavy).

First, David Crowder is awesome. Well, not so much him, but a combination of his hair and what God is doing through him. And I’m glad that he points this out often. I’m trying to do this more. Because it’s really not me. So if you’re one of the people who has said “thank you” to me in the past week, take it back. It’s not me whom you need to thank, but thank God, because he made me. Anything good that I do is because of God… I have no good in me on my own.

Second, I have a strange perspective. When living at school, I’m 20 minutes away from my parents. Living at home, I’m 15 feet away from my parents. For a few folks at Clemson, this holds true for them too. However, this is the point I really want to get to.

I am called by God to be in mission. Every Christian is, and with the Great Commission as our “theme verse” in so many churches, it’s hard for us to ignore it. I spent this summer away from home. I missed Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. This Christmas break, I’ll spend two of my 3.5 weeks off traveling to help other people. Although I see my family often, even if I didn’t, they would rather me be in New Orleans and the Bahamas instead of sitting around the house with them. I’ll have eternity to chat with them. To end this thought, I don’t believe God would want me (or anyone really) to spend 3.5 weeks with folks I’ve spent my entire life with instead of taking off for 2 weeks to help folks who are truly in need. So from the day after Boxing Day to the tenth of January, you’ll find me in two different gutters, pouring my heart out… and you’re more than welcome to join me.

Thirdly, smile. I am very guilty of this. I don’t smile enough. But it’s more than just smiling. I like tree frogs. They’re colorful, they’ve got big eyes, and more than anything, they’re just plain cool. They make me smile. I like dogs. They chase their tails and get confused when they can’t catch it. They make me smile. I like trees. Some of them look rather funny, and some have funky looking leafs. They make me smile.

And the best part of all? God made all three of these things. Do you know why? To make us smile.

Take a look around you… and find joy, happiness, and more in the gifts God has given to you and me. Be thankful for the awesome cool stuff that God has surrounded us with, and maybe even begin to see God in the midst of it all.

Those are my three thoughts. They’re not worth very much. But they’re me. And for that I thank God…

Praise to our Father,
chris

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The Day After

2005-10-19T19:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my 21st birthday. It started in New Orleans, stretched across 5 states, and ended in downtown Clemson with some awesome friends I've known for quite a while. By all means, it was an incredible birthday.

Today was a bit different, though. Today was my first day in a good while I've had to really think about things - to let things process.

Over the weekend, I spent three days in the city of New Orleans for fall break. I've been watching pictures on TV, in newspapers and magazines, and in e-mails from folks on the ground there for about 7 weeks. I've read the stories. I've seen the video footage. Nothing... none of this could prepare you for walking through the city.

To give some background, I spent a good number of weeks in a town called West End on Grand Bahama Island in the spring and summer of this year. The town has a population around 800, has cases of extreme poverty, and after being ravaged by two major hurricanes last year looks and, quite frankly, is like a 3rd world country. Homes damaged and destroyed by hurricanes... not just a few, but all of them. Flooding that covered the homes and buildings, at least the ones that remained.

I thought this would prepare me for New Orleans. It helped. But only went so far. As I sit here, I'm still trying to understand the enormity of the destruction. New Orleans is roughly 1400 times the size of West End, and very similar. Our team of 150 worked on roughly 150 homes or sites... this out of hundreds of thousands. I took over 2000 pictures, and was then only hindered by my camera's limited ability from taking even more. Looking back over these pictures, I am simply brought to tears and sadness in trying to remember the city before the wind, rain, and floods ripped through this place. Street after street, block after block... it never ended. Home after home after home with brown lines ranging from 3 to 15 feet marking how high the water sat for weeks. No words can describe what was there...

But I did find something I had been hoping and praying that I would find: hope. A family filled with hope upon word that the beams holding their house up were not structurally damaged so they can rebuild their home after ripping out almost everything that remains. Some people coming home to find that the water only reached so high, and some of their memories remain. An elderly couple who are dragging all of their possessions - and to a great extent their whole life story - to the curb for the garbage truck to pick up and carry off... seeing that couple when five college kids come to help them. Taking stuffed animals and blankets to children in the hospital... seeing the smiles on their faces. Seeing peoples lives changed by a dozen vans full of people coming to help their brothers and sisters. This is hope.

We are constantly struggling to find ways to live life, to love others, to practice Christ. These 150 people found a way. They found a way to let their light shine in the midst of a dark, saddened place. And that light didn't drive away on Tuesday morning... it's still there, still brightening people's day.

What I witnessed over the past five days was Jesus. People living the life that Christ showed us how to live. It's one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

No matter what your background, where you're from, your age or your physical stamina, the opportunity is there for you. Whether in New Orleans or across the street, opportunities to share the love of Jesus Christ are all around you... all you have to do is open your eyes and your heart. It doesn't take a single word... only the genuine desire to live your life the way it was meant to be lived.

That's my story. In all 21 years and 1 day of my life, this is where I am. Living life means practicing love and practicing Christ everywhere that I go... from a restaurant to a bar, from the driver's seat to the post office, from my dining room table to my neighbor's front yard. This is life. Live.

so glad that what I can't God can,
chris

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A Football Game

2005-09-24T17:51:00.000-05:00

I learned a lot today. As most southerners know (and a few northerners), football is big stuff down here. It's an all-Saturday event, as it was today. Also when you pack a small city of 30,000 people with around 100,000 in one day, all those people just make you excited.

The first thing I learned is that although there are 7 refs, they just don't see everything. Just like most other respectable groups (including all of the bowls), the ACC should adopt instant replay challenging. I also learned that, even when mistakes are made, Clemson is pretty good about not making penalties.

The second thing I learned is that the "woo-hoo" may have a better purpose than we all think. As loud as Death Valley becomes, it may help cue people as to when to start with "C" (especially those who can't hear as well as the good number of "inebriated" folks.

The third thing I learned is that, even though we stress it and may say we are, we do have our bad moments with sportsmanship. Making a good play is awesome. Continuing to cheer while a 20-year-old college kid is hurt on the field is not. Regardless of which team the hurt player is from, don't cheer that they're hurt, and applaud when they get up to go off. Football may be a contact sport, but people getting injured is still nothing to celebrate. Despite our cheers at an injury, I think "He showed us" says it best.

Before I point out the fourth thing, I'll say a bit about myself so you'll understand my fourth point. This is my 21st season of Clemson Football. I was there 21 years ago (almost), and I'm still here today, and I've never stopped pulling for the tigers since. (to further clarify, I turn 21 next month) I'm a pretty big Clemson Football fan, and I don't like missing their games. There are few I've missed as a student, and only because I was 300 or more miles away (one time gazing on the Pacific... while watching the game on tv and cheering so much many strange looks were aimed at me). Yes, I was there last year for Georgia Tech. Yes, I was there last week for Miami. And yes I was there today for BC.

There are a lot of very depressing moments I've experienced in Tiger Football. One of the worst was my freshman year road trip where three of us drove to Orlando for the Tangerine Bowl. (I'm not sure we played in that game... but our team was there, at least physically) There have been games where I've been ripped between a desire to cry or just fall to the ground and lie there for a very long time.

This brings me to point four, which I say with all 21 (almost) years of maturity I have. Football is awesome, but it's just a game. Yes. I said it. This may be the first time.

Last week I could no longer say 2-0, but I could say 1-1 against top-20 teams. This week, all I was left with is, "It could be worse." This has brought me to a revelation: it could be much, much worse. God could have never bestowed the wisdom on someone to create football. Then where would we be?

I can't base my attitude on whether or not Clemson has a winning season. Sure, it'd be nice. It would be absolutely incredible for us to bring the national championship back home again. But either way, my life still goes on, as does yours, and all 80,000 people who packed Memorial Stadium today. Sure, I'll scream my heart out (and wake up every Sunday morning after a game without a voice, or a hoarse one at that), but in the end, my joy isn't determined by a game. My joy comes from the simple knowledge that life is so much more than 11 days during the fall (and hopefully one more around Christmas) each year. I've got 353 more days every year to live life to the most that I can, and it'd be a shame if someone went their whole life without the same thought.

Just some thoughts. And yes, I'll be up in Winston-Salem next week, and I'll probably lose my voice again, but there's not a day this week I'll live without making the most of it.

There's so much more to life. Live it, and never look back.

Living life,
chris

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Continuing the Conversation

2005-09-15T13:42:00.000-05:00

This is a most interesting story. I've recently learned a lot about a musical artist not from hearing, but rather from reading. Over the past few weeks, Kanye West has been featured in several magazines I subscribe to (notably TIME and Relevant). Both dubbed him as the leading force in today's rap industry, most specifically in its future. I was a little disheartened. From the little I have heard of his music, I was very turned-off, particularly with the overuse of vulgar terms that really weren't adding to the music itself. This changed as I read about his hit, Jesus Walks. For the "leading force in the future of rap" to get the word "Jesus" on mainstream radio and still be heard of today is, well, impressive. I had a little bit different view of him from that point on. He went from being a rapper to a rapper who knew at least a little of Jesus.

About a week ago, I was going through my living room and about to turn the tv off, but stopped after seeing him on tv. So I watched as he spoke. Obviously veering from the script, he went on to condemn our President as someone who, "doesn't care about black people." Now I'll be honest here... I got a huge lump in my throat right about there. I support Bush. I think he's a good guy really trying to do good (dispite all the declarations of "hidden agendas" he has). Never before have I seen, heard, or known of an instance where he didn't care about black people (or African Americans to be a little more politically correct). I've honestly never heard any words from his mouth that would suggest he didn't care about any single person in the world (even Saddam Hussein). Now unless Kanye had a conversation with him where he specifically said that, I'm not sure what justified his remarks. Regardless of this, he said them on live national prime-time television, and it's rather hard to take them back after that.

My issue here isn't necessarily in what Kanye said, but rather what others have said about it. Others have said that he's a horrible person. They've said we couldn't learn anything from his music and none of us should listen to it.

Just because I thought one of his songs was good, I haven't become a huge fan or started listening to many of the others, but to no extent do I believe his comments should lead to the notion that there is nothing to learn from him. My stance is this: we're all in a conversation. About who we are. About what we believe in. About what faith is and how God works into all of this. Pardon my bluntness, but it was the same people who said "he's wrong, I'm right, and I know everything for fact" that crucified the same guy Kanye talks about in his song.

This has led me to thinking that maybe I don't know everything. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not supposed to. Maybe I'm supposed to be left in wonder about some things. Maybe there's an almighty and awesome God in charge of this whole thing and I shouldn't worry myself with most of these things. That's why I believe we're in a conversation.

Ending the conversation is to say, "Oop, Kanye screwed up. He criticized a leader in front of a bunch of other people. He's worthless. Let's move on." I don't think that's helping anyone, except those who want to continue to mislead themselves by thinking they know it all. My question is, "I wonder why he said that?" It is only through asking these questions that we might truly discover what other people are all about and, in some way, share with them the same love Jesus has shared with us. That's what continuing the conversation is all about. And may that conversation never stop...

Striving to stay in wonderous amazement,
chris

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Reflections from a Brother

2005-09-11T11:17:00.000-05:00

It was about this time of day four years ago that I came home from school, made a turkey sandwich with provolone cheese, sat down on my couch, turned on the tv, and stared in absolute shock.

That turkey sandwich was never eaten… my appetite seemed to drift away very quickly.

I try to remember what I felt at that moment. The biggest question in my mind was not, “Who?” or “Why?”, but rather “What?” What was going on?

Then was the other question as "what" became answered: how? How are we going to respond to this as a nation? How will the world respond? How will I respond?

My life changed on that day, despite the fact I was hundreds of miles away from anywhere directly affected. As a senior in high school, my shell was broken. The world, quite instantly, became a much smaller place.

Reflections on my life since senior year really started while I was in the Bahamas this summer. I began widening my view of things and evolving into the person I am today. The one thing I will never forget is being stopped by an elderly man, probably in his late 60’s, who had Alzheimer’s. Mr. Mackenzie stopped me and another guy to tell us how, “We must learn to live with one another and love one another as God’s children.” He proceeded to tell us this many times, and I imagine he forgot he had already told us. But the thought stuck with me. Maybe it was good he kept repeating himself, as it’s the most important thing I learned while down there.

Four years ago today, thousands of people lost their lives, and the world was changed. Since then, there have been other tragedies across the globe. Wars have broken out. Peace, while spreading in popularity, doesn’t seem to be much of an option.

Also in the past four years, we’ve seen great tragedies that have not been the result of hate or war. Children starving. Entire villages, towns, and cities being wiped off the map from powerful winds and raging seas.

New Orleans and Sumatra aren’t much different. They may speak different languages, they may have different foods (although both like their coffee strong), but they’re both home to struggling people. They’re both home to people. Our brothers and sisters.

America and Iraq aren’t much different either. Both are struggling people. We’re struggling to see past black and white. They’re struggling to see past what church building they walk into. We’ve found the best way to get our word out is to stage dramatic demonstrations. They’ve found the best way to get their word out is to rebel. Both are home to people struggling with their differences. They’re both home to people. We’re both brothers and sisters.

How can we learn to all live in this world together as God’s children? Mr. Mackenzie, even though he’s from a very poor village and may not have all of his teeth or a formal education, hit the nail smack on the head. God gave us this big huge earth, and with it getting smaller every day, we’ve got to learn to live with one another and love one another. If we don’t, we may not have a world to live together on.

Whether you’re Christian or Muslim or Jew, whether you’re black or white or yellow, whether you’re rich or poor or somewhere in between, you are my brother or sister. I am yours. Now let’s start living like it.

Some thoughts and reflections from a brother seeking truth,
gcm

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Mud

2005-09-02T08:12:00.000-05:00

I, along with most of our country, have watched streaming images of New Orleans for the past week. Towns gone. Cities looking like Atlantis. Bridges simply disappeared. People in horrible conditions. The best -- and worst -- coming out in people.

Every morning I eat breakfast while watching CNN. Then I read the newspaper with a cup of coffee. Finally I make my way upstairs to my computer where I read the e-mail version of the NY Times before really beginning my day. Today, that put things over the top.

There are thousands of tons of mud sloshed around Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana (not to mention the puddles still remaining through the Ohio River Valley). Now, instead of cleaning it up, the newest fad is to pick it up and toss it at someone else. Because, as we all know, that makes everything better. (please note the sarcasm)

Let me point some things out. One -- this was everyone's worst nightmare. The MOST that New Orleans was ever prepared to take was a moderate Category 3 storm. Katrina was 4 and just a smidgeon from being a 5. For you local folk: think Hugo, with Charleston being below sea-level. Two -- this is being compared to 9/11. This is not 9/11. 9/11 was concentrated within three places (several sq. blocks in NYC, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania). This disaster, aside from simply being natural in cause, is not comparable to 9/11. It covers more than three states and has left a city of 1.3 million people underwater.

I'll make this clear: I am not diminishing 9/11. However, 9/11 was a terrorist attack. This is not. This is a natural disaster that has left hudreds of thousands homeless and now we have over a million refugees from the region.

This is not a "black and white issue". Some people have said that nobody cares about the "blacks left in the city." Images of the Superdome, at least by my own estimation, show that my guess was correct. The people left inside represent the population distribution of New Orelans for the most part. According to the 2000 census, over 2/3 of New Orleans residents are African American. So the reason you see a lot of African Americans still left is, well, there were a lot to begin with.

There is a massive effort to get these people out of New Orleans. It is not a ho-hum kind of thing. They're trying as hard as they can to act as quickly as possible. However, when the folks on the ground act in uncivilized ways such as crowding helicopter landing pads, shooting guns at people trying to rescue them, and cause riots by not remembering their kindergarten lesson of "not cutting in line", it makes things difficult. Add to that most bridges going into and out of town are flooded, not to mention every road leading to the major shelters.

We can toss mud around all we'd like, but all we're going to end up with is some very dirty people. If we focused all of our "blaming" on trying to get these people out of the city and, even more, helping the over 2 million displaced residents, something good may come out of this after all.

When we moved to Baton Rouge in 1993, we were welcomed with open arms and discovered that southern hospitality really spans that far (and continued to for the two and a half years we were there). Of the over two dozen times I've visited New Orleans, I've never really encountered an unfriendly person... to add to that, they give you free jazz up and down the streets and offer you a taste of those incredible pralines.

My focus over the next year is going to be to return that same gesture of hospitality we were shown ten years ago. I'm going to do as much as I can to help out whoever I can. It doesn't matter to me who's to blame or what politics lie behind it all. These people are without houses, food, clothes, and so much more. So, we help build them houses, give them clothes, cook them food (red beans and rice with some spicy sausage mixed in sounds like a plan), and we give them a hug and say, "We love you."

Taking the words from a five-year-old, "It was a hurricane." There's nobody to blame. No one asked the hurricane to hit. That's all in the past. Let's focus on the present, so maybe, just maybe we can brighten the future of those people devastated by such a tragedy.

That's my take on things. It's time to help. And if all you want to do is talk or throw mud, then sit down, shut up, and let real people get the work done. It's just that simple.

Praying that the good in everyone will emerge,
chris

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The Palmetto State

2005-08-31T08:47:00.000-05:00

My morning began as usual. The alarm clock went off. It kept going off. Reluctantly I got up and turned if off and began my day. (sometime in middle school I developed this love of sleep... and subsequently a hate of my alarm clock)

I went downstairs, ate breakfast, enjoyed a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper and watching CNN (yes, at the same time). Then I came upstairs to do some work on the computer. In searching for a list of "strange laws" in South Carolina to use in something I am preparing, I came across an essay written by an individual affiliated with the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta (aka - Georgia Tech). Here's the link if you'd like to read it as well: http://users.ece.gatech.edu/~mleach/sc/

My “usual” morning turned very different. I assumed (unjustly) that this article was written by some teenager who had never visited South Carolina and knew nothing of it. Turns out it was written by a fifty-year-old professor of Audio Engineering at Georgia Tech.

Let me explain quickly my history with South Carolina. I was born here in 1984 and have lived within this state for every year after then except for the thirty months I lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, with my family (which, by the way, was a most incredible thirty months and I encourage you to help those guys out in the midst of Katrina if you are able). Most of my family arrived here in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, with a few more coming in the nineteenth century. Many came from Ireland, and then an assortment from Wales, Britain, Italy, and a hand-full of other places. Some migrated to Texas over time, but for the most part, my family stayed in this little state called South Carolina. At some point in time, my ancestors owned slaves and had great big plantations. They don’t today, and I really don’t agree with the ones who did back then, but I wasn’t there, so I can’t say much about it. When I look at people today, they are people in my eyes, and no different from me regardless of where they may have come from. My family has a history in politics, education, business, and the military.

In short, I have very strong ties to this state, it is my home, and I am very passionate about this. Yes, I have visited other parts of the world, I love visiting other parts of the world, but this is my home, and I love it dearly. To hear someone degrade my state doesn’t necessarily anger me, it saddens me. Either this person is too arrogant to actually visit this place and see what it is really like, or they have endured a negative experience while in my home state. So, I will do my best effort to tell you about my state.

First, I'll get this out of the way. The Civil War began in Charleston, my anscestors fought in it, just as they fought in the Revolution and World War II. We were not the only state in the Confederacy. The Confederacy was not successful. Many historians say that the military advances caused by this war led the United States to become the superpower it is today. I'm glad we're still a "United" States, I love my country just as much as my state, and I'm very glad that a vast majority of people in this state today are able to see each other as people and nothing less.

South Carolina is home to a lot of religious, conservative people. They’ve been that way since settling Charles Town and probably aren’t going to change anytime soon (although we were liberal enough to change it to Charleston). We love sweet tea and we love to shag. We’re home to three nationally-recognized research universities, one of which competes frequently with schools like Georgia Tech (athletically and academically) and frequently wins. It was also the first college in the country to peacefully welcome African-American students, the first who later became mayor of Charlotte.

Our education system is decent (although it leaves room for improvement). Yes, we do rank last in some things. Most unbiased research firms have ranked South Carolina in the upper thirties among states when it comes to education over the past few years (usually between 32-33). Georgia, to give some comparison, has ranked in the lower thirties (about 38). We are home to some of the best liberal arts colleges in the country, the oldest municipal college in the country, and Queen Elizabeth II’s knee was manufactured here, in addition to portions of space shuttles and military aircraft. And I almost forgot about one of the first three genetic research centers in the world… I was born a block away from it.

Our state produced the first operating submarine, has the only presently-operating U.S. tea plantation, and is the largest source of peaches in the United States (just because you name everything “peachtree” doesn’t mean you have more of them). We also produced a number of ambassadors (including the present one to Canada and a number of other countries). If you drive an X5, Z-3 (or 4), or have Michelin tires, South Carolina was responsible for those.

If our state were a city, we’d be a little larger than Los Angeles, and we’re ten times the size of Atlanta. We’re fairly rural, but when it comes to the number of people per square mile, we’re twice the national average. We rank pretty high up there on individuals owning their own home, nearing the 75% mark. Our education system rests alongside the national average, and has been increasing over the past 30 years.

Despite our population, we’re passionate about our land, and rightfully so. The northern portion of our state edges the Appalachian Mountains, with dozens of hiking trails and waterfalls open to the public daily. The foothills gradually transition into the midlands, where lakes, rivers, and grassland fill the terrain. If you dig deep enough, you’ll find seashells, from when the ocean reached the midlands thousands of years ago. Keep going and you’ll reach the low-country, known for its plantations, Spanish moss, and roads lined with huge century-old trees. This all accompanied by hundreds of miles of pristine beaches, inlets, waterways, swamps and marshlands, wildlife, incredible golf courses and gardens, and some of the best fishing you’ll ever find.

The most amazing thing about this: you can go from mountain-top to ocean in about four hours, without speeding and worrying about state troopers, all with the same education requirements of any other state. I've never heard them address anyone by other than "sir" or "ma'am", which we're very proud to still use for the most part.

Maybe I’m just proud of the same state that produced John C Calhoun, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Andrew Jackson (yes, the President), and Radio. Maybe I’m proud of a state that has so much history it takes a thousand-page book just to scrape the surface.

Sure, we like our rural settings (and commute times under 25 minutes). Sure, we enjoy being a little slower-paced than New York or LA. We enjoy going to church, hiking in the mountains, and going to the beach. We’re big on using the palmetto tree and moon on everything we wear, write-on, and drive. We’re South Carolina, we like it, and if you for some reason don’t seem to, we’d prefer you leave this little slice of heaven to those of us who do.

Above this, if you have an open mind, I welcome you to come visit my state. We love visitors and welcome you to see our amazing state.

I should note before closing the most important point of all. South Carolina was the eighth state to enter the Union. Today, there are forty-nine others. Together, we are a United States. South Carolina is just as much a part of this as Hawaii, Georgia, Maine, or Texas. While my passion for South Carolina is strong, I am an American. We are Americans. I'm not here to degrade your state, and I hope you're not here to degrade mine. We live in an awesome country, not because of any one state, but because of the fifty that united together. This, my friend, is one thing we should never forget.

A proud American,
gcm

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Shining City Upon a Hill iii

2005-08-20T23:06:00.000-05:00

Since a young age, I've always been fascinated by "the news". It was always on television at home. In the morning, the Today show was always a part of the morning rush; in the evenings, up until his retirement recently, Tom Brokaw brought us the day's events, and now Brian Williams fills the role. In high school I spent many afternoons and evenings at the local news station learning what it was like to "bring the news to people". I even tried my hand at creating a news show in high school and again in college, both very exciting things. In high school, I edited the school paper for two years, and before that, wrote columns in a local paper.

It was all news. Fast-paced at times, but very enjoyable.

Now I diversify a bit from the past and watch some CNN or Fox News, and even sometimes get my news from the internet. Something about it all amazes me, though. It came very clearly as I watched the news the other day: the sadness amazes me.

The first order of business? If any casualties have been recorded in Iraq during the day, it is the first thing to be mentioned. Then, especially with the local news, any reports of the day's criminal activities is passed along to the viewer. Then there's the update on a handful of court cases (criminal or otherwise) that the television network has chosen to spotlight amidst the thousands. We're then given updates on different groups of maybe ten or twenty people who think they have the answer to our country's problems, then we're told of some recent discovery that the federal government is spending our hard-earned tax dollars on some huge project benefiting thirteen people in a rural area we've never heard of... usually deemed "the fleecing of America". Business news is next... a few numbers we become obsessed with (it's scary to think that the activity of thirty stocks can determine the attitude of a person... much less millions of people around the world).

There's a good part and a bad part to all of this. The bad part? Watching the news, with the exception of the excitement of the shuttle launch and return recently, tends to depress me more than any other single part of my day. The good part? Fortunately, I see a lot of good that happens in the world every day, at least enough to know that the news doesn't really cover alot of the "good stuff" that's happening out there in the world.

We, the Americans, are bringing hope to a country previously run by tyranny. The vast majority (a proven and undisputed thing) of them thank us for trying to help them. Americans sent more money than internationally-recognized analysts said could actually be used to help tsunami victims. The rebuilding taking place right now in Sumatra and Sri Lanka and India hasn't gotten much television coverage.

And that's only the beginning. More than the United States, other people in other places are working every day to make this world a better place. I don't really get that vibe from CNN, as there it seems like every day there's a disaster going on and it's so frantic that you have to go through the "situation room" for a few hours every afternoon. I didn't get that from CNN, though... I saw it with my own eyes -- I did my own investigation.

And guess what? There's more to be done. Last month we allocated $25.4 billion (or something like that) to do stuff like build $7.2 million bridges in obscure places, build a new architecturally-pleasing welcome center for a small, seldom visited state park for the reasonable sum of $10.8 million. Yet we gripe and complain about sending $300 million to Africa for starving kids, most whom if given the same opportunities I had growing up wouldn't be much unlike me today.

Four Americans died in Iraq the other day as a result of a roadside bomb. I won't challenge the fact that it's tragic, sad, and that I continually pray for our troops in Iraq and in just about every corner of the globe who put their lives on the line daily to protect my freedom. The other day, in just about a thousand miles west of Iraq, sixty kids died every minute because we don't seem quite so motivated to help them. Sure, they're not Americans, but they're people, just like us.

You know, this story was also covered by the news. And, to my surprise, there wasn't much of a "good story" to find, as there wasn't much positive going on there. That got me to thinking more... are we seeking to change the world still? Or is that a dream that is dead and gone?

Maybe the news needs more positive stories to run, but they're just so hard to find that it's easier to find bad news.

What if we all really believed that we, as just a single person, could change the world? Maybe, just maybe, the nightly news might leave a smile on a few more people's faces...

Ronald Reagan believed anyone, no matter how small or big, young or old, smart or not, could change the world. That's why he called this America a "Shining City Upon a Hill", and his dream was that we may shine for all the world to see, and set an example for the world to live by.

Are we changing the world for the better? Reagan passed the torch to us. There's never been a better time than now to give it a shot. Prove the news wrong -- start doing something every day to help others believe there's still some good news left to hear.

Dreaming of a better place,
chris

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The Bookcase

2005-08-14T19:13:00.000-05:00

Today was a turning point for me. Eight and a half years ago, my family moved from Lexington, SC, to Powdersville, SC. One of the first pieces of furniture we brought up the stairs and into my room was my bookcase. We put it just inside the door, on the right, against the wall. And there it stayed, for eight and a half years.

For those of you who know me well, you know that many bookshelves joined this one over the years, as my books no longer fit on just one set of shelves. The thing that makes today different is, well, I moved the bookcase. It was the only piece of furniture in my room that had remained constant for eight and a half years. Through eighth grade, high school, figuring out which college to go to (and yes, I really did think about it for a few weeks... it wasn't as easy as I may let on to), coming home from Clemson each summer with new thoughts and new directions, celebrating holidays, and just having a nice and quiet retreat to crash when I was burnt out.

I usually move stuff around in my room every few months, as new things come and old things go, and I don't like things remaining constant. There was something unique about this bookcase, though. Over the years, I had slowly added "stuff" to the top of it. It started with an OC Supertones promotional sign and my trophies from swimming and baseball. Then it grew over the years. Every once in a while I'd find something interesting and put it up there. All of the pieces record a different time in my life. Different interests.

One is a burnt-out spotlight bulb from high school, when I coordinated the lights and sound for some school productions. There's a 2000 box from Disney World reminding me of my trip that year. Several frogs... yeah, those are kinda random. Old wooden race cars from my days as a boy scout. A souvenir coke bottle from when the olympic torch came through Clemson in 2002... alongside a picture of me holding another olympic torch in Columbia in '96. Some random smithsonian souvenirs from my trips to DC during high school and college.

All reminders of the past...

Today my bookcase is across the room, in a new place, and a very re-arranged room. But the top is empty (except for eight years of dust... i've been afraid to tackle that). I think today I'll start fresh. That other stuff can go on top of a different bookcase -- I think on this one I'll start over, as it was kinda full to start with.

Needless to say, this whole thing has made me look back over the years, and has made me realize a few things. I've done a lot of different stuff. I collect way too much of what most of the world calls "junk". I have more books than any 20-year-old needs (in fact, I'm 30,000 pages behind on reading all the books I own). The scariest part is that I know how many pages I'm behind. The best part is knowing that if I went back to when I first put that bookcase there eight and a half years ago, I wouldn't do a thing different, because it's been the best eight and a half years of my life. I've learned more, grown more, and seen more in these years than ever before. I live a great life, and remembering through the past helps remind me how blessed I am.

If there's one thing I'm reminded of, it's the one thing that's been inside of me since a very, very young age... live life. Be happy. Smile. Breathe. Laugh. Eat ice cream. Stick your tongue out. Lick ice cubes. Be a kid. Spend time with kids. Read. Dream. Imagine. See no limits. Listen. Paint. Draw. Take pictures. Travel. Learn something new. Experience a different culture.

Live life.

It's the greatest thing I've ever done, and looking back, the only thing that's remained constant in my life. This life is a gift to me. So I'll live it for all it's worth. I've been doing it for twenty years... why stop now?

-gcm

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Lift-off

2005-07-26T09:45:00.000-05:00

Do you remember when you were a little kid and were simply amazed by something -- left in awe of how it works? I do, and it's the same feeling I had this morning as I watched Discovery end the two-and-a-half year pause in space shuttle lift-offs. Simply amazing.

Before the launch, they went through so much information detailing the improvements made since the Columbia loss and even improvements made in the past few weeks... I couldn't help but think, "How does it work?" "What's that?" "Whoa, that's cool!"

Wonder.

That's what it is. Seeing something so awesome that you just want to know more about it, how it works, how it does what it does. I grew up watching space shuttles lift-off on tv. I've even run (quite literally) to the ride at Walt Disney World that simulates a shuttle lift-off and jumped into it. It brings out the kid in me... the kid that just stares at the tv this morning, asking to myself tons of questions about how this thing works, "what does this do?", "wow..."

It's like legos (and why I still have thousands of them at the age of twenty). It's why older guys like fixing up old cars. It's why people travel and insist on doing things that the natives do (and not what they do back home). It's about climbing through a cave, or scuba diving at a reef or shipwreck. It's adventure. It's seeing something new, learning something new, and one of the most awesome feelings we'll ever have on earth.

I pray that one day my kids (should God decide to bless me with any) have the same since of wonder about the space shuttle that I have. That they long for adventure. That they open their eyes to see... and open their minds to discover.

God speed, Discovery... see you when you get home, and can't wait to hear what it was like!

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The Map on my Wall

2005-07-21T21:25:00.000-05:00

As I write this, I sit here looking at a map hanging on my wall of Charleston Harbor and Approaches. For those of you who don't know, I live in South Carolina and have a good deal of family roots in the Charleston area, as most all of my family who emigrated to America after the sixteenth century came through this port. I love the Charleston area and the diversity you can find there. One 300-year old building stands next to a newly constructed place of business. On the outskirts you find plantations, and in others you find the solitude of undeveloped coastal paradise nestled along rivers and the intercoastal waterway. On some beaches you find awesome waves, and it's hard to beat the endless supply of fish and shrimp coming in daily.

Looking at this map tonight, though, different thoughts come to mind. I wonder what it was like when a map like this wasn't to be found anywhere. When Columbus set-out to find India, not knowing two huge continents stood in his way. When Lewis and Clark set-out to reach the Pacific, knowing that there was an ocean to reach, but not knowing how far or what kind of terrain they would cross. When Hernando de Soto hiked not to far from where I sit to discover the unknown.

Can you imagine the wonder? I try to experience this every time I travel... finding something new, venturing into somewhere that I don't know exactly where I am. It's not quite the same, as there are few places above water and below the heavens that aren't mapped out yet. That leaves me imagining what it might have been like...

To be sailing around the tip of Africa for the first time to find a sea-route to India...

To set-out on three not-so-grand boats, when everyone else is sure you're going to fall off the earth, to seek a shorter route, and then making the greatest discovery of land ever made...

To set-out West to cross fields and forests, cross the mighty Rocky mountains and the swift rivers flowing Westward in search of the largest ocean on earth...

Can you imagine? How awesome is it to discover something new -- to go through uncharted territory and be amazed by everything you see?

You see, the trick is, you can always look at it like this. Every time I look up at the map on my wall, I think about something different. Every time I drive from my house to Jacksonville and back, I see new things along the way. I could see the same thing every time, but I choose not to. I make a conscious decision to be in wonder... to continually be amazed by the awesomeness of the world God has created around us.

We are all explorers, charting our way through uncharted territory. No one has lived our life before... and no one has seen God's creation the exact same way we see it. Be in wonder. Discover. It really is an awesome thing... because with Him, map or no map, you'll never really ever be lost.

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Shining City Upon a Hill ii

2005-07-18T09:26:00.000-05:00

Culture.

The very word brings confusion, frustration, anger, discernment, enlightenment, encouragement, curiosity, freedom, and faith.

I live in an American culture… a culture where when people want something, they get it. If they can’t get it then, it becomes a goal, which they will focus on achieving until they get it. I live in a culture that doesn’t know what it is like to not have running water, electricity, telephone, television, internet connections, literacy, air conditioning, central heat, means of personal transportation, adequate mass transportation, and so much more.

Recently, I’ve been spending a bit of time in the Bahamas, in a little village called West End. Over the past few months, I’ve spent five weeks there helping to rebuild homes damaged by two category 4 hurricanes in September ’04. I’ve learned that not everywhere has air conditioning, adequate transportation, running water that is drinkable, internet connections, literacy, and telephones that work properly. This village is still getting some of these things, and others they may not fully have for many years.

The Bahamas is close to the United States, and therefore has a lot of things that the US has. Not everything – but a good bit.

Presently I’m reading a book by a guy from India, telling about the culture there and his first encounter of American culture at JFK Airport in NYC. He wasn’t amazed by the architecture, the size of buildings, etc (understandably since his culture built things of the same size hundreds of years ago… just think Taj Mahal). He was amazed by how we take the simple parts of our culture for granted. We aren’t thankful for them – rather, they’re an expectation.

I think these things could be referred to as “the simple things”, but even then, we may be degrading them to merely an “expectation” or a “right” that we have. So, I’m going to call them luxuries. Twelve months ago, a luxury in my eyes would be a nice, shiny, new Mercedes-Benz sitting in my driveway, fully paid-off and with a full tank of premium gasoline, not to mention the newest innovations in audio technology. Now, a luxury is my seven-year-old Honda Accord, well over the 100k mile marker. A luxury is sitting in a house that is 70 degrees when it is 94 outside. A luxury is flipping the light switch in every room and a light coming on… and if it’s burnt out, having a new 4-pack of lightbulbs in the laundry room to replace it. A luxury is being able to write what I’m writing now and, moreover, to know more than ten people who have the ability to read it.

With this said, I live an incredibly luxurious lifestyle. I read four books a week, listen to CDs on a daily basis, drive just about anywhere I want to go, type on a $1400 laptop computer that I have to share with no one, and eat three meals a day (plus some snacks, like freshly-cut watermelon… yum). I’m not quite sure they would agree, but I’m tempted to put myself in the same boat with professional athletes, corporate CEOs with private jets, movie stars, and just about everyone in the United States, as we are all living luxurious lifestyles. Being homeless in this country carries similar privileges of having a home and job in some other “necks of the woods”.

I am an American. I am proud of who I am and where I’ve come from and where I live and call home. Even so, I’m striving to be more aware of how blessed I am, how privileged I am to live in America, and saying more and more, “God, you’ve blessed us… please teach us that it’s time to bless everyone else.”

It’s time to wake-up and smell our freshly-brewed cup of Christian crack (aka, Starbucks coffee) and realize that God already has blessed this shining city upon a hill… now it’s time to take that light and shine for all to see. It’s not about taking our culture and imposing it… it’s about appreciating that of others and sharing with them the blessings God has had on us.

That, my friend, is the American spirit. Is it still in us?

-gcm . july 18, 2005
powdersville, south carolina

Shining City Upon a Hill i

2005-07-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

Joyful, joyful we adore thee. How glorious is your name, your presence, your spirit, your Son, your love. Simply thinking of your majesty brings joy to my soul.

My greatest love is for my Father, my creator, my God. Below that is the love I have for my mother, my father, and my brother here on earth. One of my other great loves, though, one which I am passionate about, is the love I have for the country in which I live. When I think of the United States of America, I remember to when my first ancestors came over across a sliver of land from modern-day Russia, later to be called Native Americans. I think of others who came on boats from Portofino, Italy; from Malahide, Ireland; from Killarny, Ireland; from Southern England. They all came at different times, in different courses of American history. The first before any else knew there was an America, so much that they were named “Indians” by their discoverer. Some others who came in the late fifteenth century to find San Salvador and claim this land for Spain. Some others who came throughout the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries to settle the British colonies across the eastern seaboard. Some others during a potato famine in Ireland. Some others to escape the poverty of the Industrial Revolution in England. My history is beautiful, and in many ways typical of most Americans. I am proud of it, and excited of the stories that it brings. One day I hope to visit where all of my roots have come from.

All of my ancestors came to a place for a better life. For adventure. For love. For a higher quality of life. For joy. When they first saw this country, they were filled with excitement for what awaited. I can just imagine the faces of my ancestors from Southwest Ireland catching their first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty as they arrived in America. Hope was in their faces, in their hearts.

Today, I sit here the product of these many adventures. Only one other person in the world shares this same story – my little brother, whom I love dearly. We love our country the same. Two hundred and twenty-nine years ago today, a group of men gathered in a room to take the biggest leap of faith they would ever take. They defied a king. They sought freedom from tyranny. They sought a new way of life, where freedom was every man’s right. Where liberty, justice, and brotherhood was abundant. For many of them, this leap of faith was part of a much larger faith – their faith in God. This was a spiritual journey for some of them. Their prayer for America was to be free from England. To be our own nation.

That we are. England is no longer our leader – rather in many ways, we now lead England. We are no longer a colony, but in just eleven score and nine years, we have become the most prosperous nation on the earth. In the words of one of our greatest leaders, a “shining city upon a hill.”

My prayer as I sit here today, reflecting upon where I have come from, and where I have been, is that we truly live up to this great leader’s description of our homeland.

In the place that I call home, forty years after Rev. King’s dream, the most segregated place you can find is no longer the water fountains. It is no longer the seats on a bus. It is no longer the places of schooling for children. Rather, it is the places of worship for all. In the United Methodist Church, we speak ‘under the table’ of the “black churches” and the “white churches”. Many of both are dying because of little enthusiasm. Why not truly live up to our name – “united” – and make one church, filled with excitement and fervor for God almighty?

In the nation which I love so dearly, whose history is as colorful as it is beautiful, why do we set aside one faith and call it “barbaric” and fear coming near our brothers who worship differently from how we do? Muslims are not ravages. Muslims are not terrorists. Muslims are our brothers. Whether or not we want to admit it openly, God created them just as He created us. And, in the words of Brian McLaren, please allow be to believe that the same God that created the earth and the heavens may also have the wisdom to teach different cultures to worship Him in different ways.

Distant relatives of mine have been ever-present in the shaping of this nation. From congressmen in the first and second Continental Congress, to military leaders, to presidents. My prayer is that they may help America realize the dreams of those who led before them. Reagan wasn’t talking about shiny weapons to greet our brethren. He was talking about being a faithful nation believing in God, and shining by sharing their love – His love – with all of the nations.

We call ourselves a “Christian nation”, more so than any other culture upon the earth. Jesus – the leader of the Christian faith – taught love. Call me a hippie if you’d like, without the marijuana, but I really believe that we’ve lost the love. Black Eye Peas must also agree with this through their song, “Where is the love?”

In sharing the same spirit of my forefathers eleven score and nine years ago, I long and desire to see a revolution. I desire to see a nation that spreads His love to all of the nations, and truly becomes a shining city upon a hill. A nation under God, with liberty and justice for all of the world.

-gcm . july 2, 2005
west end, grand bahama island

Thoughts on Prayer

2005-06-20T08:31:00.000-05:00

I have some thoughts. They may not be right, they may be. They may lead you in a different direction of thought. This is your warning. If you're afraid of something new, if you're just really comfortable where you are, then stay there -- don't let me get you out of your zone of comfort, please. With this said, I'll continue.

Why do we pray? I think I know why I pray. Why do you pray? Jesus said prayer is good. This is good. We pray.

But what about when we pray for someone to get better from being sick? Is praying for their healing good? What if it's not what is in God's plan for them? What if He is calling them home early? (I don't know where you stand on the issue, but in my mind being called home early just might be a good thing... I mean, this earth doesn't even compare to what we may find beyond)

I'm not sure about any of these things. So I ask questions. And that's okay. If you're asking questions, too, keep asking them! God didn't send us here to be little drones doing the same thing every day. He likes to see us grow... grow with Him.

Here's what I'm getting at. I don't want to try to come anywhere close to interfering with God's plan. I know that I'd have no hope of changing it, because God is God, and I am not. But, at no point in time do I want to think that I know better than God. So.......... now, this is really what I'm getting at. When I pray now, I'm going to say thank you to God, ask Him to guide me (in whatever direction that may be), care for those whom I love (whether in this life or the eternal life that lies beyond), and that we may all see His grace more and more each and every day.

That's my view and my thoughts. You may disagree. That's okay. I'll change my view in time, I'm sure. I'm growing with God and trying to follow Jesus... to me, that's an adventure -- and a continual learning process. I hope it is the same for you. Thank you, God. You are great, you are awesome, and I can't even begin to show my appreciation for all that you've done for me. Please guide me along the path you would have me to go, and help me to show Your love to all whom I encounter. Please care for those around me and continue to show them glimpses of Your love as they walk through their paths on this earth. And, moreover, please help me to realize Your grace as I move forward in my love affair with you, and help others -- well, everyone in the world, realize how awesome Your grace is and how wonderful and marvelous it is. Thank you God. I love You.

Humbly following, questioning, and praying,
chris

<><

Love Affair

2005-06-18T21:48:00.000-05:00

Whew, it's been a while. I guess you could say that I've been in a spiritual lull. Things have been exciting, my life continues to journey on as I divide my time this summer between the Bahamas, Jacksonville, and home near Greenville, SC. I've met a ton of new people, experienced a lot of new things, been on one of the most incredible adventures God has ever led me through, but even in all of this, I've been in a lull. Swimming the strokes. Staying in a straight line. Letting my life be closer to gray and losing all of the color.

As my delayed flight took off from Atlanta earlier this evening, I gazed out the window and stopped for a few moments to be in wonder at God's creation. The Atlanta skyline slowly disappeared as we flew through the clouds. Then above the clouds, the setting sun cast hues of orange, red, and purple among the perfectly crafted clouds. It was beautiful, and yet my words will never do this artistic creation justice. The sun slowly disappeared and left darkness outside of my window, lest the blinking light at the tip of the wing.

I got comfortable in my chair and read a few chapters of an amazing book. Then the book, no less amazing, lost its luster as I had done enough reading for the day. I now aimlessly stared at the ceiling, no neighbors in the two seats to my right to talk to and get to know. Then I decided that music was what I needed. Pulling out the MiniDisc player, I remembered I had recorded some new songs onto a disc, so I put it in and started listening. Soon thereafter, somewhere 30,000 feet above Northern Florida, it hit me.

There was no love affair between me and God. Given, God desires for this and has since I was born, but I wasn't looking at it this way. It wasn't the music. It wasn't the book. It wasn't even the movie playing on the flight or the people around me or the beautiful work of art I had just viewed out of my window. It was every single thing that had occured in my life during this lull-filled adventure that brought me to this point, plus those quiet little words that were so hard to hear, "I want to fall in love with you." Call me crazy for hearing things, but I fully believe that God speaks to us every day. Whether or not we listen, whether or not we follow, and whether or not we choose to acknowledge that it is God speaking, all of these things are up to us. But He is speaking.

So, I decided to enter this conversation with God by responding, "I want to fall in love with You, too." I didn't say it aloud. That would have most assuredly scared the little kid in the next row, with no one sitting next to me. In any case, I came to realize that my life lacked that sacred romance with my creator, my guide, my friend, my God. I now seek a love affair, beyond any love that I will ever find on earth. It is a joyous thing to seek.

To be plain and clear, I don't seek a deeper understanding of what the bible says to accomplish this. I don't seek a more committed life with the church. I don't even seek to tell a bunch of others about my faith. To reach this love affair (and to truly have one), I'm seeking God. This is a new approach for me, but I think that by seeking God with all of my heart and truly being in love with Him and with Him alone, I'll find what He wants me to do. And, moreover, I'll be happy -- and so will He. Knowing that God is smiling down at you is one of the most beautiful yet indescribable things a person can think of.

The funny part is, I'm not exactly sure how this will all happen. I'm unsure. I don't know. But that's okay. Because I'm in love with God, and he's been in love with me for over twenty-one years. I'm sure that God's sure, so as long as I'm sure I'm taking the time to listen and follow Him, I'll be okay, and I'll still have this life-long romance that will be the only thing to last beyond this life I have here on earth.

How wonderful. Beautiful. Joyous. Amazing. Awe-inspiring. I'm now on another flight somewhere over the Straight of Florida, but if you could just see the smile on my face as I think back to my short conversation with God and, rather too, this new-found love affair, you might want one for yourself as well.

God bless you, whomever you may be, and may you, too, fall in love with your creator... our God.

Truly and humbly in love,
chris

<><

Moving away from unique?

2005-05-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

We are all different. Physically, mentally, spiritually. We see
things in different ways. Given, they may be similar, they are
different. Our bodies are different. They may all have similar
things, but they are all of different sizes, shaped in different ways,
of different colors -- things the Methodist church calls "diverse".

God may have made us in this way, but He doesn't call for us to stay
this way. Jesus didn't design a single parable or instruction for
"just this group of people". They are for all to follow. The
beatitudes tell us what we should strive for. The great commandment
is an instruction of how all of us should be similar in this way.

Paul writes continuously about how we should love one another... so
far as to put a description as to how we should and to what extent we
should when writing to the Corinthians. Here he's not calling us to
love differently, but to all seek this same kind of love.

When I say that we're all different, it is because we are. Not in
God's standard, but in the one of our own. In our anatomy and things
of this earth. But when we are in heaven, of which some debate that
we might partially be in right now through spirit, none of those
things are seen or cared of. God calls us to be more similar, to all
strive toward the same goals.

He has given us different talents. When we put all of them together
(okay, somehow this made me think of captain planet, but back to the
subject at hand), we will be able to strive further towards
similarity.

Just some thoughts. Like I have said many times, I do not know much
of anything. I think. I ponder. And sometimes I write what I think
and share it with others, so that they too may think. Mystery novels
have always been fun for me to read... only recently have I realized
that the greatest mystery of all is found in what we as Christians
believe. We're all in the same boat... that in itself may be the
scariest part of all.

in Christ,
chris

<><

Treasure and Fear

2005-05-20T10:27:00.000-05:00

"If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."

Scary. That simple statement by Jesus strikes fear into my heart. Into my very being. To get rid of everything and follow Him. Have I become too comfortable? Have I become so used to living among my possessions that they distract me from following Him?

Have I become so content in being around things and people and family that I hold so dear that they have harnessed me from truly following Christ? Sometimes it's hard to hear God amidst voices we have learned to trust so fully.

Maybe it is time for a change. Maybe I fear when I should not. Maybe what I fear the most is being comfortable and content. Shouldn't we always desire more? Shouldn't we always seek a deeper understanding and knowledge of the King and His Kingdom?

What do I value? What is my treasure? What do I fear?

"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

"Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body or what you will put on... And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried... Instead seek His kingdom and these things will be added to you."

Where is our focus? Why should I fear? I should fear not. I should treasure not what I can see, but rather that which I cannot. I should have faith in the unseen... and that is where I should long for. That is faith. Not fear. Faith is treasure... treasure heaven... have faith in the treasure of heaven. Seek without fear, without limits, wonder imaginatively the greatness of what lies ahead and the simple joy we find in this trek into that which we see not...

Longing for a faith of a treasure I can never fully comprehend,
chris

matthew 19.21 - luke 12.22-34 - hebrews 11.1

<><

God is God

2005-05-19T15:45:00.000-05:00

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don't know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I'm filled with awe and wonder
'Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I?

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me?
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the one who is worthy of worship alone

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

Only God is God
Only God is God

Great is the Lord
Great is the Lord.

Sometimes my words cannot express my thoughts. Steven Curtis Chapman is one of the greatest musicians and lyricists within Christian music because of his poetic nature... the words with wisdom far beyond my own. They are so true. I am shaking. I am trembling. How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things.

I am searching. I am wondering. Where are the answers? How can I hear God? How can I see this glimpse of such a masterful painting I seek so whole-heartedly? ...to Him and through Him and from Him are all things. Only God is God. Let me seek, find, and know. That is my prayer. That is my goal, my focus, and my heart.

For I do not know, and only through His wisdom and knowledge will I find.

With fear and endless searching,
chris

Eighteen

2005-05-18T17:51:00.000-05:00

There's something about today. Every 18th of every month. There's always something about it. Three years ago today, I walked across a stage, shook a bunch of hands, and officially graduated from high school. Three months to the day later, on August 18, I moved out of my house for the first time and into my college dorm room -- Byrnes 2D1. On October 18, 1984, I was born. Every one of my twenty birthdays to date have been on October 18th; it'd be kinda strange if they weren't. Now it is May 18th, 2005. What is special about today? A lot of things.

First, today is today. It is another day; another gift from God that I thank him so joyously for, as it is so undeserved. Second, it is the 18th, and that makes me happy. I always stop to reflect on the 18th of any month. It just seems like a good day to do that. A lot of significant things have happened in my life on the 18th.

This morning I woke up and sat on a bed that I've only spent five nights with and began to think. It was early considering I wasn't asleep until three am the night before. The sun had just come up. I could see the beautiful light etching in my window between the blinds. A bird was not too distant from my window chirping announcing the morning to everything near. I had a revelation... an epiphany.

I am happy. My soul is joyful. Everything is beautiful. No, I'm not on crack (maybe Christian crack -- you know, the stuff that comes from Starbucks). There may be bad things that happen, but I am able to look beyond them to see something wonderful. To see the beauty in life and the perfection of God's creation... and the beauty in God's creations being imperfect.

Now that's not the epiphany. I've been getting close to thinking that way for a while now. The epihpany is that I was on a bed I had never seen six nights earlier. I am with relative strangers, people I have only known for two and a half weeks. I am in a town I've never stayed the night in before. I haven't been home in three weeks. And I am still happy.

Some of you may not consider this such an epiphany, but for someone who has never spent much time away from home and family. I go to college at a university that is 23 minutes away from my driveway at the place I've lived for eight years. But now I'm in a foreign place, and I'm happier than I think I've ever been. It is great. It is awesome. Eighteen.

That's my story. And I'm incredibly thankful for it. I may not know what lies in my future, in fact I'm not even sure what I'm doing next week or next semester or anything, but in spite of all that, I am content and joyful and smiling. :)

Ever thankful, joyful, mystified, wondering, curious, and happy,
chris

<><

Doing church

2005-05-17T07:57:00.000-05:00

Wow I've got a lot on my mind. I guess that's a good thing... better
than nothing.

Feeding off of a post I made earlier with "the Jesus question", I
wanted to seek further into something else that was created out of
good intentions, but I think has skewed the real message.

I call it "doing church". What did Jesus say about church? That the
Church (notice big C) is the communion of all believers. Blacks,
whites, hispanics, italians, russians, antarcticans, and even the
french. Everyone. All believers. This is the Church.

Now, let me get back to "doing church" (notice little c). This is
where we get the baptists, methodists, presbyterians (both kinds),
anglicans, catholics, episcopalian, reformed, pentecostal,
charismatic, contemplative, and on and on it goes. We all have our
different methods, our different theologies, our different beliefs.

Why?

Ooh... why? Really, why? There are a million and a
half reasons why, but honestly, I don't care. The past is dead and
gone. The truth is, the Church consists of all believers, and yet
each and every one of these groups above thinks that they are the
Church. Now, they may be the church, but they're not the Church
alone. They don't have it all right. Sure, they may have some of it,
but they're not complete.

The great Reformation was not a change in theology... the bible hasn't
changed in 2000 years. It was a change in methods, in methodology.
Their focus was to focus the church back on the actual teachings of
Jesus and not on the traditions and institution we as humans have
created and tried to call "the Church".

What is the result? We're doing church.

In the words of Peter Storey, it is not written "for God so loved the
church". Rather, "for God so loved the WORLD". Our ministry, as the
Church, and as the church if we really want to get things right, is to
the world. Not just within our church, not just within our community,
but to the entire world. Asia, Saharan Africa, Antarctica, Brazil,
Haiti, Indonesia, Texas, New England, Belfast, Brussels, Timbuktoo.
Everywhere. The WORLD is our mission field.

What will it take for us to wake up and stop "doing church"? A
generation seeking God and desiring to be the Church. A generation
seeking a romantic love affair with Jesus. A generation not concerned
about the institution of the church, but reaching out to the entire
world in teaching, preaching, healing, and with the love of Jesus
himself.

Is that generation now? My soul and heart yearn to know... and just
to know that I may be a part of it excites me more than words alone
can describe. I hope we're here. I hope we are. I pray that we
will.

Tired of 'doing church' and longing for more,
chris

<><

"Good Cause"

2005-05-16T16:58:00.000-05:00

As you may know or may have gathered from other writings, I just got
back from spending two weeks in a little town called West End on Grand
Bahama Island doing mission work. So many times I have been told by
others that what I was doing was "such a good cause".

This got me to thinking, particularly once I got down there. This
morning, I was listening to Switchfoot song where they sing, "more
than a cause..."

It all made sense and came together... one of those great Emeril
"BAMM!" moments. There's a huge difference between God's work and "a
good cause".

So many people get focused on doing "good works" or doing things for
"a good cause", to the extent that we forget what we're really
supposed to be doing. Don't get me wrong -- trying to save the
rainforests, protect bald eagles, cure parkinson's disease, feed
starving kids in Africa, and even rebuild after the tsunami in Asia
are all good things. BUT, here's the thing. If we're just doing it
for "a good cause" (as many people do), it's all in vain. Only when
we are doing these things as a way of praising God does it become
purposeful, worthy, and worship.

Think about this the next time someone calls something "a good cause".
In the Bahamas two groups spent a total of two weeks building a
triplex and re-roofing a house. They weren't doing this because it
just seemed like a good thing to do; they were doing this as a way of
sharing the love of Jesus with the people of West End. They were
praising the Lord by building. That is worship. That is good. That
is what we're supposed to be doing.

Trying to seek and act for more than a feeling and more than a cause,
chris

The Jesus Question

2005-05-14T09:24:00.000-05:00

Such a beautiful morning. I love Florida. Not quite as much as South Carolina, but I love it here.

Something has been on my mind lately. It started with reading a book called A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren. If you've never read it, read it. It's good, awesome, great, and more. Not the words Brian writes, but rather the toughts he proposes and what this generous orthodoxy might do to you, much less those around you.

He asks a question, which I now call "the Jesus question". Here it is... get ready.

Would Jesus be a Christian?

Bold. Scary. Anti-Christian? Powerful. Silence. Curiosity. Wonder.

When I first read this question, that is what came to mind, as if this is the first time you have read the question or thought about it, may come to you as well. It's an incredibly scary question.

The word "Christian" didn't come about in Jesus' time on earth, but rather is documented in the book of Acts as originating in Antioch so that the faithful would have something to call themselves. It's not a Jesus term or a God term, but rather a people term.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think that when these nice Antiochians decided to start using the word Christian, they had the best of intentions. Christian, according to my good friend Webster, is defined as "a follower of Christ" or "relating to Christ or His religion". Interesting. Following Christ or relating to Christ. Now let's go to Jesus. Webster calls Jesus "the founder of the Christian religion". Now, personally, I define Jesus in a much different way, but since I'm not in the mood to write an endless book right now, we'll stick to Webster's definition.

Ah hah! According to Webster, Jesus would have to be a Christian. He founded the religion, so therefore he would be one. Right?

Side track. For all of you good Methodists out there (and those of you who are not too), would John Wesley be a Methodist today? He founded it, right? Would he be satisfied with evangelism being the last on our list in a church where he made it first? Through this statement and to save on time, let's just assume from this point on that just because someone founded something doesn't mean that they would necessarily support its current activities.

Would Jesus be a Christian? What is a Christian? Don't give me the 'by the book' answer, because I already know that one all too well. What do we think of as a Christian? We call ourselves Christians, don't we? So what does that mean? According to Webster, it is following Christ's example and teachings. Now for some real questions...

Are we helping the poor? Are we feeding the hungry? Are we clothing the naked? Are we healing the sick? Do we have enough faith to believe that we can heal the sick? Are we really following Jesus when we call ourselves Christians?

Honestly, after thought, prayer, and about five minutes of realizing how stupid people have been in distorting a word over twenty centuries, I have firmly and confidently decided that, should Jesus be faced with the question, he not only would not call himself a Christian (he wasn't big with titles anyway), but he would like for us to be using the word 'Christian'.

Jesus is Jesus. You can call Jesus the Messiah, Lord, the king of kings, the alpha and omega, the lord of lords, but the truth is, no words or writings can replace the word Jesus; on the same level, no concept or phrase or word can replace following Jesus. Jesus didn't call us to be 'Christians', but rather to follow Him.

Think. Seriously, sit back, take a deep breath, and think about this.

We're so quick to say, "Yeah, I'm a Christian!" But, how many of us are so eager to say honestly that, "Oh yeah, I'm following Jesus!" There is a difference. It's hard to find, but it may just be the biggest road block ever built (by good intentioned people at that) from the people in today's church from finding Jesus.

Are you following Jesus, or are you satisfied with just calling yourself a Christian? I was part of that later boat for a long time, and just now am I truly finding the prior. It's been the greatest transformation in my life, and it is my prayer that it may be yours as well.

Seeking Jesus and trying as an imperfect person to follow Him,
chris

<><

In Awe

2005-05-13T17:54:00.000-05:00

Whew, it's been a while. Today I got back from spending about two weeks in West End. I'm not quite home yet... just making a stop in Jacksonville to spend a few days with some of the most awesome people I've ever met.

The rides on the boat were awesome. Some people didn't enjoy the first trip out to the island that much, but the other three rides were fairly smooth, relaxing, and good.

Last night, being the last night I would have in the Bahamas for a while, I drove out to the point. The point, I think, is the western-most point of the Bahamas and, beyond the point, is ocean until you reach Palm Beach. I got there just a little before sunset. I was discouraged. Frustrated. Disheartened. Angry with mosquitos. I wasn't feeling God like I had the week before. I wasn't rejoiceful inside... rather, I was tired, worn-out. Not physically... I'm often tired physically because sleep is just way too over-rated. Worn out spiritually... in a valley and not on a mountain top.

I drove out there just trying to get away. Sitting on a rock with waves spashing beneath me, I just stared into the horizon. Focusing on where the water meets sky. Dreaming. Breathing. Calming.

The colors were incredible... blue, red, orange, yellow, purple, aqua, fuscia, white. The sounds of waves filled my ears. The wind surrounded me. The rock supported me. It was there... I was there... God was there.

In the sunset, in the waves, in the rocks, in the sand, in the clouds, the skys. God was there.

Over the past few years, I have used the word 'awesome' more and more. Have I been doing this out of reason? Yes. The word 'awesome' means 'in awe'. And it is that very thing that I have grown to become more and more. When you begin to open your eyes, you see God working in so many ways. God is all around you -- in everything.

Because of this, I am in awe. In almost constant awe. My tiny brain can't comprehend God's greatness, vastness, or beauty, so the closest thing I can be is in wonderous awe. Last night I was there... I found it. I was in awe. I still am, and hope and pray that I will be now and forever.

God is awesome... and so much more. God bless you; and may you, too, be in awe. <><

WWJD?

2005-04-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

I am convinced that I have the most awesome little brother anyone could ever have. He's great, and more. Somehow he's gotten into wearing wrist-bands... these range from plain rubber bands (of different colors, of course), the ever-popular "LIVESTRONG" bracelet, and even a ONE CLEMSON/ R U ORANGE bracelet. This current fad reminded me of one that was incredibly popular when I was his age -- "WWJD?"

It was everywhere. Bracelets. Keychains. Bible covers. There's even a "WWJD?" bible, not to mention a handful of songs to go with it. Countless sermons and messages were preached on the topic; retreats and camps used it as their theme. It was literally everywhere, and it made us ask that question to ourselves. We wanted to be reminded of it constantly as to stay out of trouble and "do the right thing". WWJD? eventually grew to be a very profitable industry within itself.

Now that I look back, I begin to question this idea, though. "What would Jesus do?" Well, I know what he's done, sure. There's a book (actually a collection of many books) that tells us a lot about what Jesus did. That we know. But do we really know what Jesus would do if he were in our shoes today? Jesus' mother, his brothers, even the disciples couldn't predict what Jesus would do... they couldn't have answered this question. In fact, they often got in his way by trying to answer the question.

So if not WWJD, then what? Here's the bigger question -- how did Jesus know what to do? He studied the scriptures... to the extent he could recite them as to know clearly what to do. He prayed to God, his father, for guidance... taking a lot of time in the process. He allowed the spirit to lead him. I think, moreover, the real question is What Did Jesus Do?, and let that guide our decisions. Do we study scripture to know what God would have us do? Do we pray for guidance and to be led by the spirit?

Sometimes we won't be led to do the same things that "have always been done." Jesus says very clearly, "And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of tradition?" When we really ask, "What did Jesus do?" and follow what he did, we will be led in the most radical of ways... ways that we could never predict.

I don't think we'll ever know exactly what Jesus would do if he was in the world today -- we can guess, but somehow I think we'd come up short. What we do know is how he made his own decisions, and that is the example he laid down for us.

WDJD? Follow, study, and pray. I doubt I'll start a new trend by this, but I do think I'll find more answers. Maybe you will too.

Trying and stumbling to be more like Jesus,
chris

Matthew 15: 1-9

A Morning to Remember

2005-04-20T07:55:00.000-05:00

Several years ago I read the novel A Night to Remember by Walter Lord. The book compiles the stories of the night of April 14, 1912, that continued through the early morning of April 15th. This was the night that the R.M.S. Titanic hit an iceberg and later sunk beneath the chilled waters of the North Atlantic the following morning, along with nearly 1500 people. Back in 1865, also on the night of April 14th, a lone gunman in a theater shot our President, who died in the early morning hours of April 15th. I find it coincidental that our taxes are also due on April 15th... a day of two horrific tragedies remembered.

Today, April 20, is also one of these days. For one, it is my little cousin's fourth birthday (he's very proud of today), but that is more personal than not (and more rejoiceful than tragic). I particularly remember the morning of April 20th six years ago, where two young men raged an assault on a school in Littleton, Colorado, killing many students and teachers alike. I remember watching scenes of this unfold on television, then later reading in tears the stories of Cassie Bernall and the lesser publicized Rachel Joy Scott, both of whom have become martyrs of their generation. Recalling the stories from that morning even today bring tears, but it leaves me with a challenge to reach out to this generation that I am also a part of.

Today, in this year, is also rather symbolic. This is the first morning of the papacy of Benedict XVI. While a lot is left to be seen in what this pope does, I think his first act tells us a great deal: his choice of the name Benedict. The first Benedict was a man who began the monastery (hence why many are referred to as Benedictine Monks). He encouraged life-long study of the Word and a life-long pursuit of that intimate relationship with God.

As I reflected on all of this earlier today, I began thinking more of an even older story. A story of a greater man that each of these people I speak of were seeking to be more like. He said to us, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

Benedict had it right with the first one. More than that, He was one of the first popes to reach out beyond Europe as a pope. This story of Columbine is an ever-more-recent reminder of the need to reach out, as Jesus tells us in the second great commandment... to reach out in love.

We often are quick to reference the "Great Commission" and John 3:16, but few are quick to seek these two commandments Jesus gives to us. Today is a day that I will take to remember these four verses and how I might seek to apply them to my life -- and be in constant reminder of them.

What if the entire world loved God with all of their being and then sought to love everyone else as Jesus loved and loves us? What a wonderful day that would be... now that would be a morning to remember.

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Matthew 22: 37-40

You tell them

2005-04-17T22:50:00.000-05:00

Casting Crowns is one of my new favorite musical talents. Their songs all point out such good things that we should be thinking about, but often aren't. One of their songs talks about, "If we are the body, why aren't our arms reaching, our hands healing, our words teaching?" Great song.

This weekend I got the opportunity to hear Peter Storey speak. He's currently a professor at Duke Divinity School and the former President of the South African Council of Churches. To give a little background, he was instrumental in the ending of apartheid in South Africa.

During the morning he spoke about the fact that we so often forget what real ministry is. We call a lot of things in our church "ministry", but in actuality, it's just a program. Ministry is, as Casting Crowns puts it, being the body. Reaching out. Healing. Teaching. Going. Showing them there is a way. Being like Jesus.

One question remained in my mind. When we first think about helping the poor or something like that, we first see it as an insurmountable challenge. But, once we do it, a great joy comes over us for having done it. How do we inspire others to do this, to become more Christ-like in their actions?

During the afternoon, we were given the opportunity to ask Peter some questions. When he came to our table, this is the question I asked. "How do you see this so called "insurmountable challenge" and show people the joy that it will bring afterwards?" His answer, "You tell them." He said I already had the answer to my question before I asked it. But, I probably needed to be told anyway.

"You tell them." So simple, yet so rarely done. I've spent the past few weeks speaking to a number of groups about my time in West End, Bahamas. Little did I realize it, but I was telling them. I was telling them how much that one experience changed me and all forty-three others who went. I continue to be changed from that experience and I've been home for three weeks.

My prayer is that we would first seek to become more like Jesus ourselves; second that we tell others that it may look like a huge task to take on at first, but the joy that it brings us is absolutely incredible. Let me tell you this -- if you're one of those out there who feel like being like Jesus is a huge challenge, I won't lie to you. It is. It's radical. It'll ruin your life. But, the joy that it will bring to you will be so great you'll wonder how you could have been living life before. It will put a smile on your face in the midst of the greatest tragedy. It will bring you peace. Not outer peace in the world, but peace deep down within yourself. It's not all about "getting saved" or having Jesus as your "personal savior". It's about being like him in all that you do. We so often look up to role models... famous basketball players, presidents, movie stars, our preachers, older siblings, even our parents... we also often overlook the greatest role model of them all. The one whose story has been published and read more than any other book ever written.

Not only is he just the way to salvation, but he is the way, the truth, and the light for all that we do. In seeking to be like him, we will be saved - just as he was - and one day will sit with him in heaven. I can only imagine...

Mystery?

2005-04-10T09:43:00.000-05:00

Normally I don't post this often, but I wanted to say two things that are on my mind after re-reading my last two posts.

First, I refer to a "mystery" in both of these writings and, in fact, the titles are both questions. Some people think that the Bible and having faith affords many of us answers to all of life's questions. While I do believe that many of our questions are able to be answered, I am under full belief that there are many questions that we will never be able to answer, but yet seeking an answer may lead us to more knowledge along the way. There is some level of mystery that believing brings to us. Not every question has an answer, not every answer is alone. Hence why I ask many questions in what I write.

Second, often I tend to ask, "Are we...?" I do this to say in a very subtle way that I am probably asking just as many questions as you are. In what I write, I usually speak of the things I am thinking about most... at the same time, I also try to write in a way that challenges others to consider thoughts and dig deeper into questions. I don't profess to knowing many answers... the truth is I have very few answers to any questions. So, if you actually read what I write here, please don't think that I am some wise fellow professing to have lots of answers... I really don't. I am merely a believer diving deeper into the mystery... there is only one who can actually answer the questions we seek answers to, and He is greater than any of us could ever dream of becomming. Some things will be a mystery for us until we reach heaven... and that's the beauty of it all.

Have you found Nemo?

2005-04-10T00:53:00.000-05:00

Tonight I watched one of my favorite movies that I haven't watched in a while with some good friends. Finding Nemo. The adventures of Merlin and Dori trying to find Nemo who's lost in the vast ocean. I've decided too that clown fish are cool and that I want one... I'm just not quite sure about this saltwater aquarium thing.

If you've never seen this movie (which means that you really need to go see it... like right now), it's a story about a single dad clown fish (Merlin) and his son (Nemo). Nemo gets taken by this dentist from Sydney who is scuba diving along the reef and takes Nemo back to his fish tank. Well, Merlin sets out on an adventure to find his son when he runs across Dori (another reef fish with short term memory loss... kinda like Alzheimers). During their adventure they encounter many, many other interesting creatures, from sharks to tuna to rad turtles to jellyfish to pelicans to seagulls (Mine! mine! mine! mine!). They search tirelessly. They become discouraged so many times. They're scared to go beyond the known and into the unknown.

How far would you go? To what depths of the unknown would you travel? For an intimate romance with God, how far would you swim? Would you dart through a sea of jellyfish? Would you put up with someone that you had to explain to every 5 minutes what you're doing and who you're looking for? Are you doing all of this now? Have you found Nemo?

This is one of dozens of thoughts I had while watching this movie. It still amazes me how many places you can find God in such ordinary experiences. But I get back to what I was asking... if you were Merlin, how hard would you seek? Would you seek until you found? Our goal is to find more than just Nemo... how much do we desire and long to find it? How far will we go? Are you swimming yet? Dive in... the adventure awaits.

Is life a life to love?

2005-04-09T08:51:00.000-05:00

I suffer from a condition typical of many folks my age: compulsory instant messenger away message checking. You're always curious to know what other people are doing. A lot of times, though, I'm checking them to see what kind of funny, thought-inspiring, or quite interesting messages are to be found. In this high-tech world my parents have no hope of understanding, I can gain some of my greatest inspirations during the day from simple things like away messages.

Anyway, as I peruse through them, I often find the statement "and loving life". Obviously, these folks want other people to know that they are enjoying their life to the fullest. Others, on the other hand, post messages that they're not doing so hot. They may be struggling, sick, or just having problems of various types. To focus a bit on these every-joyful people... what is bringing their joy? Why are we loving this life so much?

Here's a thought... I don't have an answer for it, but it is something interesting to think about: If we love this life that we're living so much, are we discrediting the eternal life we will live with God in heaven? Are we supposed to find a lot of joy in this life, or is it okay to not be happy everyday we live on this earth because we know how great the future will be for us?

For those of you who are not happy every day of your life and maybe don't love this life quite as much as some others do, think about this thought some. You might be uplifted to know that one day this not-so-perfect life will one day end, and a truly joyous life awaits you.

Just a thought... I hope it helps you think about this. While I'm not sure there is a full answer to the questions I ask, it is only another part of this mystery we find in following Jesus.

My Heart

2005-04-03T22:23:00.000-05:00

As I was driving home tonight, I changed cds and decided it had been a while since I listened to third day, so I put in Come Together. I always listen to Show me Your Glory first, because it's one of my favorite songs. My other favorite song on that cd is My Heart. As I listened to it tonight, though, I kept finding myself replaying the first few lines...

Well, I paint a picture, I think it's easier to live that way.
But my heart is really broken.
I'm not the man you think I am when you see me each day,
torn apart and then left open.
Father, come and fill me up - I can't wait for you to overflow my cup.

Click. "I'm not the man you think I am when you see me each day..." That's EXACTLY how I've felt over the past three months. Every single day is new, different, exciting, turbulent, challenging, long, and most importantly, changing. Every single day of the past three months has left me falling asleep knowing that I am a different person from when I woke up that morning. I'm not quite sure if I could paint just one picture to describe this, but I know that it would include crashing waves amidst a beautiful sunset.

These months have been some of the roughest in a long time. There are challenges I've faced recently that I never knew I would have to face. I've taken leaps of faith over the past few months that the "old me" would never have even approached. This would be the crashing waves part. A lightning storm, a tornado winding across my path of life. Through it all, though, there has been a sense of peace. I am at peace, just like I am when watching the sun set at the end of a day.

While every day may be different, while I may be changing more now than I ever have before in my life, I know that in everything, there is a plan. I am following a path where I know where I am and I know where it ends, but the in-between has been planned with the perfection only God can design. And, because of that, I am confident in it... I am at peace with it.

As I sit here and write this, I'm still listening to third day, extremely confused about a lot of things, knowing that there is a ton of work ahead for me, but in the midst of all of this, without stress. If you pray to Him for guidance, he will provide. If you seek, you will find. Not in your time, but in His. His time is perfect. He is perfect.

He is beautiful, beyond all pictures or stories of ten thousand words can describe. His grace and glory is more than any creation of ours can ever emit. If you truly believe; if you have faith, He will provide... always, now and forever. Our life on this earth is only the beginning... only the beginning of an eternity whose beauty we can only dream of imagining.

Father come and fill me up; I can't wait for you to overflow my cup. My heart makes me wonder how much longer until you come back to take me away. My heart longs for you to fly right through the sky and take me to the place where I won't ever feel my heart break down again.

Awesome Easter

2005-03-28T09:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was awesome. Easter usually is. Got up early, went to church, then had a huge meal with my dad's side of the family. Not just a meal; a feast. The 45th Army battalion wouldn't have left hungry.

My preacher's sermon yesterday was nothing short of awesome either and I really want to share the gist of it. He was preaching from John 20 and the story of Mary Magdalene. (kinda funny that the church we stayed at in West End was named after her) Mary wept when she came upon the empty tomb. Jesus found her and asked her why she was weeping. Why was she weeping? Was she scared something had happened?

Cy's words: "It's all gonna be alright." As Cy's brother was dying from cancer, he stopped him one day in a grocery store parking lot and told him, "No matter what happens, it's all gonna be alright."

Do we really believe this? 365 times the bible tells us to "fear not". Do we?

For a lot of people I know, myself included, today is the first day back to school from spring break. If it's not for you, it's still a Monday, which usually brings some added stress. Just know that, however much you may doubt it, everything really will be alright. Don't let the simple troubles of the moment ruin your day; in the words of a very popular book, "Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff."

No matter what you're going through, how deep or draining you think it might be, the truth of the matter is, everything really, wholly and truly, will be alright.

Back from West End

2005-03-26T20:01:00.000-05:00

So, it's been a while since my last post... I just returned today from spending a week in the little town of West End on Grand Bahama Island. It was my first overseas mission trip and one of the most incredible weeks of my life. In many aspects, this town was like a third world country. Two hurricanes smashed through the area last September, one sitting directly over the town continuously for two days slamming buildings with 130 mph winds constantly. It's been seven months since then, and little has changed. Some of the buildings have been bull-dozed since it was dangerous to leave them trying to stand on their own; others that need to be bull-dozed still have familes living in them.

I would say more here, but I think everything I could say I've either already said or someone else has in daily updates we sent back from the island (along with some pictures). I'll post more in time, but for now, visit the website an awesome guy named Erik from Freeport set up for us... http://www.pioneercommunity.org/clemson.htm.

Thanks for all of your prayers while we were gone. I hope to get back down there sometime soon, as there is still a ton of work to be done. If you think you might be interested in going down there to help for some time this summer, let me know -- we're finding housing right now for a lot of others who are giving anywhere from 2 weeks to a month to their entire summer to be in mission to these people. I promise you won't return the same person, and that you will be blessed by the hearts of these people. They are awesome... more so than I can describe in words alone.

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Every day is an adventure

2005-03-16T22:08:00.000-05:00

Today my favorite thought is, "Every day is an adventure so unlike the one before." I like it that way, though. I learn more that way. I couldn't imagine it being much fun if life wasn't an adventure. If I had to do the same thing everyday, I'd be miserable.

So much has been going on lately. It's like a roller coaster, but with my life in the seat and not me the person. It's fun, just rapidly changing and evolving. I feel like I'm discovering more and more what God really wants me to do with my life, which is a great thing.

This Sunday I leave for the Bahamas for a week-long mission trip. I'm extremely excited. At the same time, though, I'm rather nervous as I don't quite know what to expect. I've done mission projects in the states, but I've never gone abroad for a mission project. This will definitely be a learning experience and I hope the first of many opportunities I will have to travel for mission work.

That's all for today... have a good one!

Philippians 3:12-16

Even the worst can find grace

2005-03-14T22:08:00.000-05:00

I was inspired by something in the news today. As most people (at least in the US) probably know, on this past Friday a man escaped police custody in the Fulton County Courthouse in Atlanta, shot 3 people on his way out, and later killed a federal agent who tried to bring him in.

Sometime late, late Friday night, this man found a woman entering her apartment, went up to her and forced himself in, thus taking her hostage. He was apprehended mid-morning Saturday while at this same apartment. This morning when I watched the news, the woman was giving her account of what happened inside the apartment.

He put a gun to her to force himself in. At first, he tied her up. Over time, he began to trust her more, and she began to trust him more. He untied her. The guns were sitting around the house where she could have easily reached for them. The phone was never more than a few steps away.

Instead of grabbing a gun and shooting him, instead of calling 911, this woman got her bible and her copy of The Purpose Driven Life and read to him. She loved her enemy. She fed the hungry. She spoke the truth without judging. She didn't seek revenge but rather turned the other cheek. She chose the path that led to life. Her actions were so Christ-like that when I first listened to her recount the events of this "hostage situation", I was amazed. It changed this man. He didn't want to hurt anyone else. He said that she was "an angel sent to him by God". He even said that God led him to her apartment so that he could hear the words she spoke. Amazing.

I think this woman answered the question, "What would Jesus do?" The question now, rather, is what would we have done?

This story is one that has inspired me. I hope it inspires you as well.

wow

2005-03-14T15:57:00.000-05:00

I never thought this day would come, but I finally have a "blog". Since I don't like calling it a blog, though, I'm gonna call it my journal, cause that really is what this is.

This probably won't be long because I just created this thing and decided to have a first post. I leave for Freeport, Bahamas in 6 days and I can't wait... I'm not sure exactly what we'll be doing when we get there, probably a combination of re-roofing people's houses and fixing up other stuff that the hurricanes damaged late last year, but it really is exciting to go down there for a week.

A quote keeps coming to mind that I first read when I was in junior high and re-read not too long ago... it's by John Wesley... "You don't have to advertise a fire. Get on fire for God and the world will come to watch you burn." It really makes you think... well, it made me think.

Anyway, that's it for now. Have a great day!

.gcm