Relationships ii

Whew. It's over. It's almost a week now... V-day fever has settled and the biggest things to get excited about are Mardi Gras, spring coming soon, and baseball. This whole month, though, I've been giving a lot of thought to relationships. First it was friendships, and now more recently when things go beyond that. How do we handle it? Are we "going beyond that" everyday in our minds? Or does "going beyond that" in some cases have anything to do with friendship at all?

The root word for all of this thought is lust. Now, before you toss that word aside and assure yourself that you have nothing to do with that word, know that it's easier than you think to fall into it, and it's much broader than most of us would like to admit.

You don't have to have sex or even desire it to lust. You don't have to make-out, or even kiss. You can lust to be with someone just so you don't have to be alone or single. We lust when we take that second look or try to see beyond the clothes that are there (or lack thereof in some cases - it's scary what some people will wear today and call clothes).

What I've really been thinking about is how to keep this lust thing from getting to us. Jesus says in Matthew, "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you... and if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you." That's kind of radical... cutting body parts off. I'll openly admit that if I took this literally, I'd be blind right now. Something tells me I'm not alone. So how do we go about cutting out the things that may lead us to sin and, more importantly, away from God and purity? Here are some ideas I've been thinking about...

If you're sitting toward the back of the class and find yourself thinking about one of the girls (or guys) in your class, and your mind starts to wonder, start sitting at the front.

If you're not married and worried that those simple kisses might lead to making-out, stop kissing.

If sprawling out on top of each other on the couch, or sitting a little too closely, or constantly having to be in contact when you're near someone appears to you to be away from purity, stop touching each other. Like, completely. There is nothing in the bible about having to touch each other a lot to be dating or in a relationship.

In the words of my friend Steve the other night, "If driving by Bowman in the springtime causes you to take a second glance - or a third, go another way." (for non-Clemson folks: Bowman Field on a warm, spring day has more two-piece bikinis and shirtless guys than the Empire State Building has windows)

Taking a second one from Steve - if the things you're looking at on your computer are leading you away from holiness, get rid of your computer and only use the ones in the library or computer lab.

If you find that being in a relationship is leading to an increased pressure to be doing anything that is not holy, don't be in that relationship anymore. (side note: if God is calling you to be married one day and raise a family, it is okay to trust Him to help you find someone whenever that time comes... and if who you're dating now is that right person, but you're finding your time together isn't resulting in such holy behavior, it is okay to trust God to lead you back to that person when the time is right)

If something in a relationship you have with someone else or anything outside of a relationship is leading you away from God, holiness, or purity, the answer is simple: cut it off and cast it from you.

Sure, it might be tough. Sure, we might not like it. But, honestly, how should we feel about letting these worldly, evil influences compete with the great Creator of the entire galaxy, universe, and every living person and thing ever made? Should there even be a competition for God and purity to be the only focus of our lives?

seeking to truly follow the words of my Creator,
chris

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