6.20.2005

Thoughts on Prayer

I have some thoughts. They may not be right, they may be. They may lead you in a different direction of thought. This is your warning. If you're afraid of something new, if you're just really comfortable where you are, then stay there -- don't let me get you out of your zone of comfort, please. With this said, I'll continue.

Why do we pray? I think I know why I pray. Why do you pray? Jesus said prayer is good. This is good. We pray.

But what about when we pray for someone to get better from being sick? Is praying for their healing good? What if it's not what is in God's plan for them? What if He is calling them home early? (I don't know where you stand on the issue, but in my mind being called home early just might be a good thing... I mean, this earth doesn't even compare to what we may find beyond)

I'm not sure about any of these things. So I ask questions. And that's okay. If you're asking questions, too, keep asking them! God didn't send us here to be little drones doing the same thing every day. He likes to see us grow... grow with Him.

Here's what I'm getting at. I don't want to try to come anywhere close to interfering with God's plan. I know that I'd have no hope of changing it, because God is God, and I am not. But, at no point in time do I want to think that I know better than God. So.......... now, this is really what I'm getting at. When I pray now, I'm going to say thank you to God, ask Him to guide me (in whatever direction that may be), care for those whom I love (whether in this life or the eternal life that lies beyond), and that we may all see His grace more and more each and every day.

That's my view and my thoughts. You may disagree. That's okay. I'll change my view in time, I'm sure. I'm growing with God and trying to follow Jesus... to me, that's an adventure -- and a continual learning process. I hope it is the same for you. Thank you, God. You are great, you are awesome, and I can't even begin to show my appreciation for all that you've done for me. Please guide me along the path you would have me to go, and help me to show Your love to all whom I encounter. Please care for those around me and continue to show them glimpses of Your love as they walk through their paths on this earth. And, moreover, please help me to realize Your grace as I move forward in my love affair with you, and help others -- well, everyone in the world, realize how awesome Your grace is and how wonderful and marvelous it is. Thank you God. I love You.

Humbly following, questioning, and praying,
chris

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6.18.2005

Love Affair

Whew, it's been a while. I guess you could say that I've been in a spiritual lull. Things have been exciting, my life continues to journey on as I divide my time this summer between the Bahamas, Jacksonville, and home near Greenville, SC. I've met a ton of new people, experienced a lot of new things, been on one of the most incredible adventures God has ever led me through, but even in all of this, I've been in a lull. Swimming the strokes. Staying in a straight line. Letting my life be closer to gray and losing all of the color.

As my delayed flight took off from Atlanta earlier this evening, I gazed out the window and stopped for a few moments to be in wonder at God's creation. The Atlanta skyline slowly disappeared as we flew through the clouds. Then above the clouds, the setting sun cast hues of orange, red, and purple among the perfectly crafted clouds. It was beautiful, and yet my words will never do this artistic creation justice. The sun slowly disappeared and left darkness outside of my window, lest the blinking light at the tip of the wing.

I got comfortable in my chair and read a few chapters of an amazing book. Then the book, no less amazing, lost its luster as I had done enough reading for the day. I now aimlessly stared at the ceiling, no neighbors in the two seats to my right to talk to and get to know. Then I decided that music was what I needed. Pulling out the MiniDisc player, I remembered I had recorded some new songs onto a disc, so I put it in and started listening. Soon thereafter, somewhere 30,000 feet above Northern Florida, it hit me.

There was no love affair between me and God. Given, God desires for this and has since I was born, but I wasn't looking at it this way. It wasn't the music. It wasn't the book. It wasn't even the movie playing on the flight or the people around me or the beautiful work of art I had just viewed out of my window. It was every single thing that had occured in my life during this lull-filled adventure that brought me to this point, plus those quiet little words that were so hard to hear, "I want to fall in love with you." Call me crazy for hearing things, but I fully believe that God speaks to us every day. Whether or not we listen, whether or not we follow, and whether or not we choose to acknowledge that it is God speaking, all of these things are up to us. But He is speaking.

So, I decided to enter this conversation with God by responding, "I want to fall in love with You, too." I didn't say it aloud. That would have most assuredly scared the little kid in the next row, with no one sitting next to me. In any case, I came to realize that my life lacked that sacred romance with my creator, my guide, my friend, my God. I now seek a love affair, beyond any love that I will ever find on earth. It is a joyous thing to seek.

To be plain and clear, I don't seek a deeper understanding of what the bible says to accomplish this. I don't seek a more committed life with the church. I don't even seek to tell a bunch of others about my faith. To reach this love affair (and to truly have one), I'm seeking God. This is a new approach for me, but I think that by seeking God with all of my heart and truly being in love with Him and with Him alone, I'll find what He wants me to do. And, moreover, I'll be happy -- and so will He. Knowing that God is smiling down at you is one of the most beautiful yet indescribable things a person can think of.

The funny part is, I'm not exactly sure how this will all happen. I'm unsure. I don't know. But that's okay. Because I'm in love with God, and he's been in love with me for over twenty-one years. I'm sure that God's sure, so as long as I'm sure I'm taking the time to listen and follow Him, I'll be okay, and I'll still have this life-long romance that will be the only thing to last beyond this life I have here on earth.

How wonderful. Beautiful. Joyous. Amazing. Awe-inspiring. I'm now on another flight somewhere over the Straight of Florida, but if you could just see the smile on my face as I think back to my short conversation with God and, rather too, this new-found love affair, you might want one for yourself as well.

God bless you, whomever you may be, and may you, too, fall in love with your creator... our God.

Truly and humbly in love,
chris

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