5.25.2005

Moving away from unique?

We are all different. Physically, mentally, spiritually. We see
things in different ways. Given, they may be similar, they are
different. Our bodies are different. They may all have similar
things, but they are all of different sizes, shaped in different ways,
of different colors -- things the Methodist church calls "diverse".

God may have made us in this way, but He doesn't call for us to stay
this way. Jesus didn't design a single parable or instruction for
"just this group of people". They are for all to follow. The
beatitudes tell us what we should strive for. The great commandment
is an instruction of how all of us should be similar in this way.

Paul writes continuously about how we should love one another... so
far as to put a description as to how we should and to what extent we
should when writing to the Corinthians. Here he's not calling us to
love differently, but to all seek this same kind of love.

When I say that we're all different, it is because we are. Not in
God's standard, but in the one of our own. In our anatomy and things
of this earth. But when we are in heaven, of which some debate that
we might partially be in right now through spirit, none of those
things are seen or cared of. God calls us to be more similar, to all
strive toward the same goals.

He has given us different talents. When we put all of them together
(okay, somehow this made me think of captain planet, but back to the
subject at hand), we will be able to strive further towards
similarity.

Just some thoughts. Like I have said many times, I do not know much
of anything. I think. I ponder. And sometimes I write what I think
and share it with others, so that they too may think. Mystery novels
have always been fun for me to read... only recently have I realized
that the greatest mystery of all is found in what we as Christians
believe. We're all in the same boat... that in itself may be the
scariest part of all.

in Christ,
chris

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5.20.2005

Treasure and Fear

"If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."

Scary. That simple statement by Jesus strikes fear into my heart. Into my very being. To get rid of everything and follow Him. Have I become too comfortable? Have I become so used to living among my possessions that they distract me from following Him?

Have I become so content in being around things and people and family that I hold so dear that they have harnessed me from truly following Christ? Sometimes it's hard to hear God amidst voices we have learned to trust so fully.

Maybe it is time for a change. Maybe I fear when I should not. Maybe what I fear the most is being comfortable and content. Shouldn't we always desire more? Shouldn't we always seek a deeper understanding and knowledge of the King and His Kingdom?

What do I value? What is my treasure? What do I fear?

"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

"Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body or what you will put on... And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried... Instead seek His kingdom and these things will be added to you."

Where is our focus? Why should I fear? I should fear not. I should treasure not what I can see, but rather that which I cannot. I should have faith in the unseen... and that is where I should long for. That is faith. Not fear. Faith is treasure... treasure heaven... have faith in the treasure of heaven. Seek without fear, without limits, wonder imaginatively the greatness of what lies ahead and the simple joy we find in this trek into that which we see not...

Longing for a faith of a treasure I can never fully comprehend,
chris

matthew 19.21 - luke 12.22-34 - hebrews 11.1

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5.19.2005

God is God

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don't know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I'm filled with awe and wonder
'Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I?

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me?
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the one who is worthy of worship alone

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

Only God is God
Only God is God

Great is the Lord
Great is the Lord.

Sometimes my words cannot express my thoughts. Steven Curtis Chapman is one of the greatest musicians and lyricists within Christian music because of his poetic nature... the words with wisdom far beyond my own. They are so true. I am shaking. I am trembling. How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things.

I am searching. I am wondering. Where are the answers? How can I hear God? How can I see this glimpse of such a masterful painting I seek so whole-heartedly? ...to Him and through Him and from Him are all things. Only God is God. Let me seek, find, and know. That is my prayer. That is my goal, my focus, and my heart.

For I do not know, and only through His wisdom and knowledge will I find.

With fear and endless searching,
chris

5.18.2005

Eighteen

There's something about today. Every 18th of every month. There's always something about it. Three years ago today, I walked across a stage, shook a bunch of hands, and officially graduated from high school. Three months to the day later, on August 18, I moved out of my house for the first time and into my college dorm room -- Byrnes 2D1. On October 18, 1984, I was born. Every one of my twenty birthdays to date have been on October 18th; it'd be kinda strange if they weren't. Now it is May 18th, 2005. What is special about today? A lot of things.

First, today is today. It is another day; another gift from God that I thank him so joyously for, as it is so undeserved. Second, it is the 18th, and that makes me happy. I always stop to reflect on the 18th of any month. It just seems like a good day to do that. A lot of significant things have happened in my life on the 18th.

This morning I woke up and sat on a bed that I've only spent five nights with and began to think. It was early considering I wasn't asleep until three am the night before. The sun had just come up. I could see the beautiful light etching in my window between the blinds. A bird was not too distant from my window chirping announcing the morning to everything near. I had a revelation... an epiphany.

I am happy. My soul is joyful. Everything is beautiful. No, I'm not on crack (maybe Christian crack -- you know, the stuff that comes from Starbucks). There may be bad things that happen, but I am able to look beyond them to see something wonderful. To see the beauty in life and the perfection of God's creation... and the beauty in God's creations being imperfect.

Now that's not the epiphany. I've been getting close to thinking that way for a while now. The epihpany is that I was on a bed I had never seen six nights earlier. I am with relative strangers, people I have only known for two and a half weeks. I am in a town I've never stayed the night in before. I haven't been home in three weeks. And I am still happy.

Some of you may not consider this such an epiphany, but for someone who has never spent much time away from home and family. I go to college at a university that is 23 minutes away from my driveway at the place I've lived for eight years. But now I'm in a foreign place, and I'm happier than I think I've ever been. It is great. It is awesome. Eighteen.

That's my story. And I'm incredibly thankful for it. I may not know what lies in my future, in fact I'm not even sure what I'm doing next week or next semester or anything, but in spite of all that, I am content and joyful and smiling. :)

Ever thankful, joyful, mystified, wondering, curious, and happy,
chris

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5.17.2005

Doing church

Wow I've got a lot on my mind. I guess that's a good thing... better
than nothing.

Feeding off of a post I made earlier with "the Jesus question", I
wanted to seek further into something else that was created out of
good intentions, but I think has skewed the real message.

I call it "doing church". What did Jesus say about church? That the
Church (notice big C) is the communion of all believers. Blacks,
whites, hispanics, italians, russians, antarcticans, and even the
french. Everyone. All believers. This is the Church.

Now, let me get back to "doing church" (notice little c). This is
where we get the baptists, methodists, presbyterians (both kinds),
anglicans, catholics, episcopalian, reformed, pentecostal,
charismatic, contemplative, and on and on it goes. We all have our
different methods, our different theologies, our different beliefs.

Why?

Ooh... why? Really, why? There are a million and a
half reasons why, but honestly, I don't care. The past is dead and
gone. The truth is, the Church consists of all believers, and yet
each and every one of these groups above thinks that they are the
Church. Now, they may be the church, but they're not the Church
alone. They don't have it all right. Sure, they may have some of it,
but they're not complete.

The great Reformation was not a change in theology... the bible hasn't
changed in 2000 years. It was a change in methods, in methodology.
Their focus was to focus the church back on the actual teachings of
Jesus and not on the traditions and institution we as humans have
created and tried to call "the Church".

What is the result? We're doing church.

In the words of Peter Storey, it is not written "for God so loved the
church". Rather, "for God so loved the WORLD". Our ministry, as the
Church, and as the church if we really want to get things right, is to
the world. Not just within our church, not just within our community,
but to the entire world. Asia, Saharan Africa, Antarctica, Brazil,
Haiti, Indonesia, Texas, New England, Belfast, Brussels, Timbuktoo.
Everywhere. The WORLD is our mission field.

What will it take for us to wake up and stop "doing church"? A
generation seeking God and desiring to be the Church. A generation
seeking a romantic love affair with Jesus. A generation not concerned
about the institution of the church, but reaching out to the entire
world in teaching, preaching, healing, and with the love of Jesus
himself.

Is that generation now? My soul and heart yearn to know... and just
to know that I may be a part of it excites me more than words alone
can describe. I hope we're here. I hope we are. I pray that we
will.

Tired of 'doing church' and longing for more,
chris

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5.16.2005

"Good Cause"

As you may know or may have gathered from other writings, I just got
back from spending two weeks in a little town called West End on Grand
Bahama Island doing mission work. So many times I have been told by
others that what I was doing was "such a good cause".

This got me to thinking, particularly once I got down there. This
morning, I was listening to Switchfoot song where they sing, "more
than a cause..."

It all made sense and came together... one of those great Emeril
"BAMM!" moments. There's a huge difference between God's work and "a
good cause".

So many people get focused on doing "good works" or doing things for
"a good cause", to the extent that we forget what we're really
supposed to be doing. Don't get me wrong -- trying to save the
rainforests, protect bald eagles, cure parkinson's disease, feed
starving kids in Africa, and even rebuild after the tsunami in Asia
are all good things. BUT, here's the thing. If we're just doing it
for "a good cause" (as many people do), it's all in vain. Only when
we are doing these things as a way of praising God does it become
purposeful, worthy, and worship.

Think about this the next time someone calls something "a good cause".
In the Bahamas two groups spent a total of two weeks building a
triplex and re-roofing a house. They weren't doing this because it
just seemed like a good thing to do; they were doing this as a way of
sharing the love of Jesus with the people of West End. They were
praising the Lord by building. That is worship. That is good. That
is what we're supposed to be doing.

Trying to seek and act for more than a feeling and more than a cause,
chris

5.14.2005

The Jesus Question

Such a beautiful morning. I love Florida. Not quite as much as South Carolina, but I love it here.

Something has been on my mind lately. It started with reading a book called A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren. If you've never read it, read it. It's good, awesome, great, and more. Not the words Brian writes, but rather the toughts he proposes and what this generous orthodoxy might do to you, much less those around you.

He asks a question, which I now call "the Jesus question". Here it is... get ready.

Would Jesus be a Christian?

Bold. Scary. Anti-Christian? Powerful. Silence. Curiosity. Wonder.

When I first read this question, that is what came to mind, as if this is the first time you have read the question or thought about it, may come to you as well. It's an incredibly scary question.

The word "Christian" didn't come about in Jesus' time on earth, but rather is documented in the book of Acts as originating in Antioch so that the faithful would have something to call themselves. It's not a Jesus term or a God term, but rather a people term.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think that when these nice Antiochians decided to start using the word Christian, they had the best of intentions. Christian, according to my good friend Webster, is defined as "a follower of Christ" or "relating to Christ or His religion". Interesting. Following Christ or relating to Christ. Now let's go to Jesus. Webster calls Jesus "the founder of the Christian religion". Now, personally, I define Jesus in a much different way, but since I'm not in the mood to write an endless book right now, we'll stick to Webster's definition.

Ah hah! According to Webster, Jesus would have to be a Christian. He founded the religion, so therefore he would be one. Right?

Side track. For all of you good Methodists out there (and those of you who are not too), would John Wesley be a Methodist today? He founded it, right? Would he be satisfied with evangelism being the last on our list in a church where he made it first? Through this statement and to save on time, let's just assume from this point on that just because someone founded something doesn't mean that they would necessarily support its current activities.

Would Jesus be a Christian? What is a Christian? Don't give me the 'by the book' answer, because I already know that one all too well. What do we think of as a Christian? We call ourselves Christians, don't we? So what does that mean? According to Webster, it is following Christ's example and teachings. Now for some real questions...

Are we helping the poor? Are we feeding the hungry? Are we clothing the naked? Are we healing the sick? Do we have enough faith to believe that we can heal the sick? Are we really following Jesus when we call ourselves Christians?

Honestly, after thought, prayer, and about five minutes of realizing how stupid people have been in distorting a word over twenty centuries, I have firmly and confidently decided that, should Jesus be faced with the question, he not only would not call himself a Christian (he wasn't big with titles anyway), but he would like for us to be using the word 'Christian'.

Jesus is Jesus. You can call Jesus the Messiah, Lord, the king of kings, the alpha and omega, the lord of lords, but the truth is, no words or writings can replace the word Jesus; on the same level, no concept or phrase or word can replace following Jesus. Jesus didn't call us to be 'Christians', but rather to follow Him.

Think. Seriously, sit back, take a deep breath, and think about this.

We're so quick to say, "Yeah, I'm a Christian!" But, how many of us are so eager to say honestly that, "Oh yeah, I'm following Jesus!" There is a difference. It's hard to find, but it may just be the biggest road block ever built (by good intentioned people at that) from the people in today's church from finding Jesus.

Are you following Jesus, or are you satisfied with just calling yourself a Christian? I was part of that later boat for a long time, and just now am I truly finding the prior. It's been the greatest transformation in my life, and it is my prayer that it may be yours as well.

Seeking Jesus and trying as an imperfect person to follow Him,
chris

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5.13.2005

In Awe

Whew, it's been a while. Today I got back from spending about two weeks in West End. I'm not quite home yet... just making a stop in Jacksonville to spend a few days with some of the most awesome people I've ever met.

The rides on the boat were awesome. Some people didn't enjoy the first trip out to the island that much, but the other three rides were fairly smooth, relaxing, and good.

Last night, being the last night I would have in the Bahamas for a while, I drove out to the point. The point, I think, is the western-most point of the Bahamas and, beyond the point, is ocean until you reach Palm Beach. I got there just a little before sunset. I was discouraged. Frustrated. Disheartened. Angry with mosquitos. I wasn't feeling God like I had the week before. I wasn't rejoiceful inside... rather, I was tired, worn-out. Not physically... I'm often tired physically because sleep is just way too over-rated. Worn out spiritually... in a valley and not on a mountain top.

I drove out there just trying to get away. Sitting on a rock with waves spashing beneath me, I just stared into the horizon. Focusing on where the water meets sky. Dreaming. Breathing. Calming.

The colors were incredible... blue, red, orange, yellow, purple, aqua, fuscia, white. The sounds of waves filled my ears. The wind surrounded me. The rock supported me. It was there... I was there... God was there.

In the sunset, in the waves, in the rocks, in the sand, in the clouds, the skys. God was there.

Over the past few years, I have used the word 'awesome' more and more. Have I been doing this out of reason? Yes. The word 'awesome' means 'in awe'. And it is that very thing that I have grown to become more and more. When you begin to open your eyes, you see God working in so many ways. God is all around you -- in everything.

Because of this, I am in awe. In almost constant awe. My tiny brain can't comprehend God's greatness, vastness, or beauty, so the closest thing I can be is in wonderous awe. Last night I was there... I found it. I was in awe. I still am, and hope and pray that I will be now and forever.

God is awesome... and so much more. God bless you; and may you, too, be in awe. <><